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Very common these days are more age disparities in relationships from those waiting for solid careers to the so called cougars and sugar daddies. Contrary to what many people think, there are true loving relationships here. Many are able to love freely and express shared fantasies without guilt. Even if it has to involve money, most people would rather be more responsible for a relationship they love or loved than forced to pay more for trapped divorce certificates.

Indeed, those on their second marriage try harder to make it work than they do on their first marriage for fear of another failure. If they had only put that much into their first relationship, there would be no excuse for divorce. So they advise others to wait, get matured, make more money and explore friendships before jumping into what you may regret later. Young men are more hesitant than young women counting their biological cloak and career at the same time.

There is more important aspect of marital sex and love than people are willing to accept. It boils down to: there is no good to a man or woman that cannot take care of his/her family. It means cash and when they say it is not just about money. You can bet your house it is all about money. It becomes insult upon injury when money is no problem but another marital invasion is.

So many factors apart from population control and various forms of family planning in different countries are contributing to age disparity in relationships. These factors, either biological clock, career or money tends to favor older men than older women. Of course there are dirty old men that exploit the situation beyond reasonable boundaries. Some are fixated on underage girls that should be in school which clouds serious discussion.

Technology has also been kind to women since they can freeze their eggs until they are ready to take care of babies. Moreover, there is nothing like a barren lady as long as she has her money. Usually the environment dictates the ratio of men to women. As the ratio of eligible ladies outnumber men, polygyny results and as the number of men outpaces fertile ladies polyandry is bound to happen. It is survival and procreation, not pleasure or voracious sexual desires.

Indeed sex can be boring if one partner makes excessive demand that the other cannot meet. When this lady cried out, she was advised to let her husband date other ladies but remain strict and vigilant as if she did not know what was going on, otherwise he might take it as a license. That way she could stop him when threatened. Well, it could be the other way round. What if a man married a nymphomaniac, it is harder for a man to turn a blind eye except for business.

Apart from money, nothing breaks marital homes than indiscrete affairs. The denials in spite of its obviousness, exposé by video, print or orally only multiply the humiliations. The worst part for ladies is men without taste and for men, are women reaching for creeps. Sex is only a small part but important aspect of marriage. The sexual cuddling, touching, spending time with one another contribute greatly to missing partner's friendship, while away from home, even at work.

Sometime ago, a policewoman killed herself in England after she mistakenly sent her husband an amorous text of one affair wishing for more. This was a respectable woman that made one mistake in her life, and could have been forgiven for satisfying, might be, a long held desire. She did not have to deny her family her contributions for a single mistake. The newspaper carried the news and the family was more devastated by her loss than the embarrassment. See here

There are stories about certain places in Africa where a man can visit a family and get generous treatment, not only from the family but sexual pleasure from the wife. As soon as these visitors get back home they relate how generous families are in these parts of Africa. Therefore it was a surprise that a man hunted down the lover of his wife. Apparently he suspected his wife was cheating and decided to lay low and catch them in the acts. What happened to folks' generosity?

It is really hard to tell how much this unexpected rage from a man that was supposed to share his wife with visitors has to do with new norm, modernity, culture or polyandry. Some social scientists, especially anthropologists have documented this behavior in different parts of the world, not only in Asia or Africa. But we have to wonder if the present practices in China and India where male children are preferred will lead to a new wave of polyandry. See Here

While some people want it all in one relationship so that they have their cake and eat it, others have embarked on open marriage, same sex marriage or contract marriage stipulating three strikes for dooming relationships. Reasonable people, if we can call them that, cry out that we are moving towards decadence that led to Sodom and Gomorra. Hypocrisy amongst those that call themselves monogamists while in fact they engage in serial marriages vindicates polygamy.

Needless to say, some ladies and gens should remain single and be accessible to multiple partners to satisfy their desires. Trying to conform to society norm because it is expected has led to more dislocation of lives than ever. The reason is simple, we are at exploratory age where everything is within reach and possible. So, people express themselves sexually and verbally than ever in terms of liberty. Unfortunately, their consequences may be irreversible.

Most people agree on the responsibility of adults to behave in a civilized way and bring children up in a happy home. Children live in an ideal world and they question any aberration from fair and just society. As they grow up they wonder why they are treated differently from mum and dad to why they are treated differently from other kids. Even animals do differentiate some abnormal behavior from human. These are not the generation we want to transfer weirdness to.

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of Farouk Martins Aresa and do not necessarily reflect those of The Nigerian Voice. The Nigerian Voice will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

Articles by Farouk Martins Aresa