When Advise Becomes Abuse
We make mistakes, as human beings, and must be corrected, by human beings. However, the way some people contribute to correcting the offender makes CORRECTION look insulting.
Correction should be attached with decorum. It is preferable in the form of ENCOURAGEMENT. No bitterness, at all.
The way some Reforms are carried out for the improvement of the society is the best way to understanding CORRECTION. CORRECTION is meant to correct abuse, and not abuse becoming CORRECTION.
Some folks do not want their friends to correct them. And when the friends do, they use ABUSE inplace of correcting the friends. We must be open to accepting CORRECTION, because any wrong that silent is used as the best option makes abuse the order of the day.
Notwithstanding, whereas we need CORRECTION, it is a global norm that there is always the leader and the follower. Let the individual have his or her opinion. That accepted! But, let the presumed follower look-up to the leader. Anything contrary to this is an insult to the Leader, and not CORRECTION:
It is expected in the Igbo area where I come from in Nigeria that wives should follow their husbands, while the later lead.
Without any quarrel, I heard the wife shouting above her voice, at the slight correction of the husband on something that she failed to do.
Just to know if one's wife is entitled to verbally tell the husband, "Go and learn manners, do you hear me?" Though, a friend said that it depends on how she bent her mouth while saying it.
The friend further added that if she says it with a smile, she may get a hug and some bedroom actions, but if she says it with such disdain, then she probably would get the other side of the man.
Yes! Disdain was the motion and action, and the man is now learning the MANNERS in total isolation from his once jovial way, and the woman is pleading.
In another vein, another friend added that a cutting word is worse than a bowstring, a cut may heal, but the cut of the tongue does not. “He who is being carried does not realize how far the town is.” Good habits, like flossing regularly, are usually pretty hard to develop. Bad habits seem to just appear or have been programmed into our brain by some sinister force that comes in our sleep and encodes even when folks are looking.
While in affirmative with this, another friend also added that leaders must see themselves as servants and followers, tomorrow leaders. The act of checks and balances must be by mutual understanding bearing in mind that without the people there is no leader, and without a leader there will be chaos.
Do you advise or abuse? Are you a leader or the follower?