Husband Battering....Punish The Women Too!
Miss X is pissed off at Mr. A. So, she empties a plate of Akpu and vegetable stew on his head. Reason: Miss X just found out that Mr A had been cheating on her... or so she was told by his secretary now in her good books having been placing some vital information at her disposal of late....as Miss Secretary strives to curry her favors!
Miss Y is in her elements yet again, throwing tantrums as usual, one of her weird pastimes. Her spouse had failed to make a marriage proposal, after such a long wait, laden with botched expectations. So Miss Y makes a scene in the full glare of all present in the restaurant....then storms out of the place....not forgetting to empty the contents of her glass on his head. She does it so slowly...and with such sure deliberation....as to lead any nearby observer to believe that she was really enjoying the scene....and her exploit! She cared less as the alcoholic contents stung the guy's eyes....as concerned onlookers offered him water to rinse out and save his eyes.
Ms Z an air hostess, never seems to be around....an eminently understandable state of affairs....as her job in the air takes her away from the flat they share most times. On her infrequent "visits" home, she appears exhausted most times....especially when posted to the galley. So, most times when around, she sleeps off, taking a rest from all the exhaustion. But in spite of the fact that she is the disorderly type.... tossing clothes and undies everywhere, she easily succumbs to fits of temper....hauling things...smashing things...including costly electronic gadgets! Her man was hit by the toaster, which caught him squarely in the face...as she furiously flung it at him. He had 25 stitches....coupled with a blood transfusion....plus a disfigured face for a bargain.
Mrs Smith on the other hand, would rather display her own temper by beating up her husband with words... at such rare occasions when he "stands his ground as a man"....thrusting him into fits of depression and ego battery....as she calls him "a never do well, a useless man and good for nothing idiot who is better dead".
And so when Mr Smith eventually committed suicide, neighbours were quick to summise that he merely did his wife's bidding! They often heard them quarrelling.... and Mr Smith sobbing shortly thereafter.... laughing raucously at a man "crying for his wife". What a weakling, they thought...
Iya Sikira is of a different breed. Groosly obese especially around the bums, she would not fail to use her massive buttocks to advantage....as she sits squarely atop her man's belly...after hauling him aground in fights. She seems very eager to initiate those fights....even locking the door and tossing the key under the bed or through the window...so that Baba Sikira could not make an escape...and neighbors could not stop or prevent the fight. Baba Sikira now runs away from sex with his wife, taking a cue from neighbors who say "iyawo e ti fa gbogbo anfani ara e mu tan"!....and friends who conclude that "iyawo e ti jo o mu"! Better to hoard semen and save some protein, he thought...
Mummy Yeni is black belt Karate....a reason she finds tenable for delivering vicious kicks to her man's midsection after numerous warning of "This man, shut up! I will beat you o!
There seems to be a determined resolve to overlook the criminal excesses of women...and an assumption that only men are capable of assaulting women.
As hilarious as some of these instances may sound, they are real.
We hereby call on government to propound laws against females assaulting males....if only to act as a deterrent and to rein in the excesses of women.
Dr Tosin Akindele is a medical practitioner and public affairs analyst.