Your words can make or unmake you

Words are powerful ways to express your thoughts, opinions, judgements and beliefs. Words can't be taken back.

Instead, they give out energy and a message which produces negative or positive ripple effect on your partner and return to you in multiplied form. Whether good or bad, your words dominate your relationship. They stir up victory or defeat. Your relationship is, therefore, characterised by your words.

It is also important to appreciate your words. Your words reveal what you are, what you wish for yourself and your partner. It is up to you and never to anyone else because out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

Dirty words come only from dirty people; clean words come from clean people. Insulting a partner who is one flesh with you simply means you are insulting yourself.

Positive words of kindness, appreciation and gratitude generate warmth in your partner. He will react kindly to you. Words like "I love you", "I am glad I have you", "You make me happy" and "Thank you" are simple but very effective ways to touch your partner's heart because they make him/her feel cherished, wanted and loved.

A man has great emotional fulfilment when he is told he makes his woman happy and that he makes a great and positive in her life. A woman also gets emotional fulfilment when told she is cherished, valued and appreciated. Lovers must, therefore, keep using positive words which build self esteem, affirmation, encouragement, motivation, acceptance and hope.

If problems arise, your words of encouragement and hope will lift your relationship from prison to paradise. If you talk about how good your relationship is, your spirit will boom with confidence, faith and as surance. Share words seasoned with grace to build your relationship.

Negative words

Negative words are internalised and not processed appropriately. They may resurface to destroy your relationship. Sometimes negative words speak louder than actions. A slap may hurt for a moment but negative words stay to create emotional pain, anger and bitterness.

You are imprisoned by negative words.
The moment you say your relationship is bad, doubts rise like a giant to bind, blindfold and imprison you. You never see anything beautiful in your relationship.

Never for a moment say that God abandoned you. He will never forsake you, even when you walk through the shadow of death.

When you lose faith in God, you only add more years in prison.

There are many things that need not be said if they destroy your lover's self esteem and motivation. Lovers must avoid words like "I hate you", "You are useless", "You will suffer for this", "I regret marrying you", "My former lover was better" and "You don't deserve me". It is also important lovers minimise criticism, arguments, hostility and invalidation. Never talk failure. Your faith will never register above your words.

Words are especially important to women. They are easily stimulated by soft, loving words. Your woman, therefore, needs your verbal connection to make her feel loved and secure. Unlike men, words are magnified many times in a woman's mind. Men, therefore, hurt their lovers far more than they think if they use negative words.

What to do

Your words work like magic in your relationship. Believe in them and keep talking. You are the most consistent voice your partner hears. Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth but only such as is good to edify. The tongue is a very small organ but it has the power of life and death. It can be the spark that can set a forest ablaze.

This is why many nations and relationships have been destroyed by poor choice of words. Your words can also heal wounds where no other healing balm can reach. With your mouth, you can build or destroy your relationship.

Your words will make you a victor or captive. Solomon said if you want a happy life, keep control of your tongue. Keep away falsehood from your mouth. Instead, fill your relationship with faith and love.

Let the words of your mouth and the meditation of your heart be acceptable to your lover and your Maker.

Credit: John Boakey, The Mirror, 0208181861: E-mail: [email protected]