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Seriously, won't you stop staring?

By Bridgette Williams, The Edmonton Journal
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Quick

Let's play a game. It's called "Seriously, What Is That?" The rules are pretty simple. We describe a few dating conundrums that have ticked us off and made us ask "Seriously, what is that?" And then you provide an answer. Here we go:

Have you seen The Stare? We get that a lot, and it's not cute. We're not talking about that sly, shy eye contact across a crowded room. Nothing that subtle. It's more like an "I have been sent from the future to kill the son of Sarah Connor" kind of stare. Seriously, what is that?

And, more importantly, what are we supposed to do about it?

We understand The Stare is a way to indicate interest, but we're unclear about what happens next. Someone likes us. Then what? Most of us remember learning all about Stranger Danger, and we're pretty sure you're not supposed to talk to people who eye you that suspicious-like.

Same with The Honk. This one's pretty straightforward. You get it when you're minding your own business and someone honks his car horn at you. Sigh. Seriously? What is that?

Are we truly supposed to stop the flow of traffic to do some quick flirting? Better yet, what could you honkers possibly say that might make us give you our number or jump in the car with you?

But we're not about to limit the game to men. We've watched girls flirt and it, too, is not cute. Take the "young, dumb and full of ... questions" act. (That's what we're calling the PG-rated version anyway.)

This is when women play stupid and/or helpless to get a guy's attention. Seriously? What. Is. That?

Honestly, are there women in the world (not including Paris Hilton) who can't pump their own gas? We're not that great at changing a flat tire, and we've been known to let a long, tall mystery man help us reach a book on the topmost shelf at our local Barnes & Noble. But that's not the same thing. It's not like we're only choosing books on the top shelves.

That just happens to be where they keep the Harry Potter books.

Seriously.

© The Edmonton Journal 2007