I Fear Men, Yet My Appetite For Sex Is Strong

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Dear NFC,

I can no-longer control my sexual urge since I lost out in a relationship about two years ago. Since then I have been unable to give myself to any man not because I do not need a man in my life, but out of fear of having a man in my life.

As a result of that experience, I have become scared of giving my body, soul and spirit to any man even though I constantly hope the right man would come some day.

However, with every passing day, my hope of getting that kind of man dims as the ones who seem interested in me are the unserious ones who are only interested in getting in between the sheets with me.

Honestly, I don't want to give any man the room to hurt me again. It has not been easy staying without sex for this long, yet I don't want to have sex with a man I do not have deep feelings for and who may not be ready for a real relationship.

How then do I get the right man? I do not have friends to share my thoughts with, I really love to have some, but it has not been easy finding a good friend who shares my values and understands what true friendship is all about.

I really don't know what to do to get the right people around me. I know I have good manners, decent, clean and intelligent and respectful.

Really, I think I have the qualities every good woman has, but I just don't know why I am not getting the right people. Am already in my 30s.

In the mean time, what do you think I should do concerning this unquenchable urge for sex?

Worried lady.