SHE IS VERY JEALOUS
I wish I have a magic wand to make your wishes come true but I do not. Of course many single women would also like a rich guy who is 'ready for marriage' but they have to work at it. You see you have to hang out where the rich hang out in order to meet such a person. But, I think it is better for you at 23 years of age to meet and marry someone who you will grow with both emotionally, and financially. If you meet someone who is self-made already where do you contribute? Would you feel fulfilled in setting up your home? Do you want servants and housemaids who are only loyal to the 'sir' of the house and who may view you as a gold digger? I really do not think that is a good idea. Learn to crawl with a life partner until both of you begin to walk.
You are really doing a great job that is quite commendable. Please I will like you to link me up with a humble and fun loving lady within Kano and its environs. My name is Ifem, I am quite humble and I am working. Any interested lady can reach me on.08053827262.
Your details are here and any interested lady may call. Good luck,
I read your column when a guy named Robert asked for a girl or wife in Nigeria. I am interested because I have been hurt just like him. I am a final year law student of Rivers State University of Science and Technology. And I am 23 years old. I would like to forward my details to him.
If this Robert is still looking for a female partner, he might still be checking out 'Heart Clinic' in the Sunday Sun. If he is, you are in luck because he just might come knocking.
I met this girl at a friend's place and it she took an immediate liking to me. Within a week of our meeting, she had already kissed me and told me she had feelings for me, but I didn't feel the same way. (Now, I'm sort of 'old-fashioned' because I'm not a fan of this ' instant' thing my generation is doing).
So I told her to give it time. Besides, I am a student and I view my studies as priority and I feel having a girlfriend or feelings or emotional attachments now could affect my academics. But this girl has so shown she loves me. She keeps coming back even after I've rejected her and I've done so like thrice. She keeps fending off interest from other guys. Another thing is, she's so immaterial and she so appreciates whatever little I spend, and I've rarely done so. It's not like I don't like her, it's just that I don't want a girl now. But something is telling me not to take this sort of girl for granted. She's nice, humble and very real. I care about her, I admire her but am not yet sure I have any feelings and I don't want a relationship. I even told her so and she said she also doesn't want one; that she just wants to be with me because I make her happy and she loves kissing me. We've known each other for about three months now. No sex, just a little romance, and she's the one that initiates it most of the time. So I don't know what to do. Much as I would love to love and be loved in return, I don't really want a girl now. But I feel somehow that I may regret letting her go. What do I do?
Sorry my mail is this long. I had to put everything in so you can fully understand.
Your letter is not that long so there is no need to apologize. So this girl likes you and comes around every so often and both of you engage in some type of romance? This continues to happen and she keeps coming around and you keep enjoying those nice kisses that make you tingle right? No doubt you have some feelings for her Jazzy. I think that you are in denial. First of all Jazzy, acknowledge your feelings for the girl. Secondly, decide how far you want to go with her and thirdly, decide how you would handle the relationship so that it does not have an adverse effect on your studies. If you are able to make solid clear decisions about this, you can manage your emotions and move a step further in this already interesting relationship. Mind you, you can also commit to not having sex until you graduate for instance. There are several ways to obtain sexual satisfaction between adults without actually penetrating. There are foreplays that are bound to leave both of you panting and yearning for more. Have you tried oral sex? This surely can take you to Cloud-9 if not the moon.
Hang in there Jazzy,
I just don't miss reading the Sun every Sunday because of you. Your solutions to emotional problems really do work. I am 26 years old and a university graduate. I met a lady sometime last year and we became friends. She is in her 20 years, an undergraduate in 200 Level. She comes to my house when she is around but not often. The truth is we talk freely when she is in school than when she is in her house. She declines my calls at times when she is in her house. I love her and am ready to do anything for her but I do not see care and love from her. Please advise me. Thank you.
I think it is obvious why she talks more in school and not at home. It is very likely that she has parents or other father figure at home that prevents her from speaking freely. When she is in school do you feel her love for you? You see, love as in respect is usually reciprocal. I think you know when a girl is receiving the electrical vibes you send to her because you also feel what she is sending to you. If you feel like your transmittal is not igniting any current, conserve it and shift base.
I have been reading your column and do find the advice you give very encouraging; please keep it up. I have a problem for which I need your help. I'm a 21-year-old undergraduate. Lately when I show interest in a girl and express it, I find that the next minute I will lose interest again. Uppermost in my mind would be thoughts of graduating with good grades. Although I'm a bright student, I want to start building relationships with the opposite, but then with way I feel it is proving to be difficult. Please I need your hand because I am interested in a girl now and I like her. The problem is that I have not made a move towards her.
It is good that you are focusing on your studies and not on sex. When you are ready to have sex you may concentrate on that and put everything else aside. Unless you have tried and do not have erection due to anxiety, then you do not have a problem. As for the girl that you like, why not begin your friendship without complicating it with the thoughts of sex. When you are both ready, you can share yourselves in a sweet embrace that is sure to generate warmth and pleasure in your hearts not to say limbs.
My girl always feels very jealous whenever she sees me talking to any girl. I just don't understand. Please how do I handle this?
• ADULK GUY
Are you saying that she is excessively jealous? What a shame! Jealousy is a poison that eats up the human mind and causes the brain to act irrationally. It is really pointless and often a waste of energy. So long as you do not have any ulterior motives and maintain a platonic relationship with these other females, explain to your girl that you have no intention of messing around with anyone because you love her. Help alleviate her insecurities by not flaunting your social skills to the opposite sex when she is with you. Help build her self-confidence but do not totally stop talking to female friends. Keep on encouraging her to trust you and assure her of your love for her. If she is jealous to the point of irrationality, please make a 'bee' line exit.