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HOW OBEMBE DISGRACED HIMSELF

By NBF News
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Once upon a time, there lived a man called Obembe. He had many wives and dozens of children. Obembe became quite rich early in life and was a power broker in the community as early as age 40. He was a regular face at the palace and his peers deferred to him. Attending naming ceremonies in Obembe's compound was a regular thing. Women, as we know, are easily drawn to money and power, both of which featured prominently on this man's resume. Thus when his youngest wife, Rita, became pregnant, the whole community got ready for another talk-of-the-town party in Obembe's palatial compound. There were, of course, those who felt Obembe ought to have hung his boots after about 30 children.

What was he trying to prove, anyway? But since there was no law against impregnating your wife even if you are 80, grey and bald, the 'bad belle' protests remained discussions over 'nkwobi' and 'akpeteshi'. Then one morning, the community woke up to noise coming from Obembe's compound. Obembe was screaming, his wife was wailing. Bone of contention? Obembe had denied being responsible for Rita's pregnancy. The woman was about five months gone and dismayed. Everybody was shocked at the allegation but Obembe was hopping mad. And he was actually hopping, punching the air and foaming in the mouth.

'The pregnancy isn't mine. That child is a bastard. You will take him or her to whoever you have been frolicking with, you ingrate. Stupid unfaithful prostitute, you dare to bring into my house another man's child.'

Obembe hopped some more while almost the entire community watched with mouths agape. How did Obembe know the unborn baby wasn't his? And if by any wild stretch of imagination, he had a way of telling a bastard by the shape of his wife's tummy, why did he wait that long before hauling the unfaithful wife out into the cold? Now, the whole community knew all Obembe's children were born with a dark little patch below the right ear. All of them, male and female had the patch. So if the young wife delivered a baby without the Obembe physical DNA, she would not need to be told to take her 'fake' baby to its owner. Now what would happen if the baby was born with patch? Everybody wondered. Having made so much noise, embarrassing the wife and the unborn child, wouldn't Obembe look like a Grade 'A' old fool? The people didn't have to wonder for long.

Rita's baby boy soon arrived. Witha patch darker than his older siblings' and looking like his father. He was even born bald! Rita's parents, as tradition demanded, came on the third day and whisked away their daughter and Obembe's son. They left behind a long list of atonement materials for embarrassing their family and soiling their noble name. Obembe paid with his tails tucked between his legs. Since that day, if anybody starts boasting or fuming about something he cannot substantiate, people sneer and advise him to stop his Obembe noise .

Nice story, ehn? Instructive too.
Now, let's go to Delta state. There seems to be a lot of Obembe noise coming from that direction since the erstwhile governor, Emmanuel Uduaghan, was removed in a sundown Appeal Court judgment. Though the exact date for the ordered fresh election is still unknown, Pa Edwin Kiagbodo Clark has told anybody who cared to listen that Uduaghan would not return because he stole his first victory ab initio. Pa Clark even went as far as telling EFCC to come arrest Dr Uduaghan for all kinds of offences. EFCC has since reported back to the nation that the Commission had no petition against Uduaghan. Obembe noise? I guess.

Like Obembe's wife's pregnancy, we all will have to wait until after the election to know if Delta people want Uduaghan or not. Only Professor Jega and his men can determine who wins or loses. The dark patch below the right ear would be the election results. Until then, any prediction is Obembe noise. If I decide today on this back page that Ogboru is better than Uduaghan, it would still be Obembe noise. If PDP, in its usual annoying arrogance, starts huffing and puffing today that it would rule Delta until Jesus returns, it would also be Obembe noise. No amount of chest-thumping or political swagger will swear in a substantive governor for the Delta State Government House. Only the fresh election will. Unless someone is not telling us the whole truth about this matter. Otherwise, throwing our weight around will be just making all the Obembe noise our lungs can afford.

Failed Parents Tribunal
This tribunal is longer overdue. Some parents should be made to sweep the streets, clear drainages and do other assorted community service stuff. Some should even be made to do vigilante jobs with OPC and other private security men. They should stand all night at the gates to their streets considering that a couple of them would see their kids sneaking through side streets and scaling fences into their homes. We cannot continue to talk down on our youths, calling them names when parents have totally abdicated their duties as guardians and moulders. How can we expect to have a great tomorrow when all we do is mess up today?

Ok, let me start from the beginning.
Did you read that short piece in a national newspaper last Saturday on why Uti Nwachukwu who won the Big Brother Africa All Stars cannot be considered as a Tourism Ambassador in spite of his $200,000 bank balance? The good looking guy is a hair-plaiting, ear-ring-wearing young man. I know a lot of mouth watering deals await Uti in the corporate world but from where I stand, he would have clinched those deals anyway and still be a role model for my son without the rings and weave. Well, he's a star now, what do people who are not stars and celebrities know?

The other day in church, I saw a four-year old girl in a halter-neck dress followed by another in a mono-strap top and yet another in a backless denim gown. Ah, in church? What kind of mother goes into a shop and buys that for a kid? If you nurture a girl on halter-necks, how do you intend to stop her at 19 from putting her breasts on display? If a father sees nothing wrong in providing funds for shopping for his eight-year-old girl's micro mini, who is he going to blame if she grows into a nudity-loving woman?

Have you noticed the way today's grooms allow their brides come to the altar half nude, their breasts threatening poor clergy men? Does it not worry you that today's fathers see nothing wrong in dancing down the aisle with their half-clad daughters on wedding days? What kind of parents are we if our sons see nothing wrong in putting their brides' breasts on display for their friends and siblings, on the first day of their marriage? And I thought it was politicians who are ruining the future of our children. Who can be more corrupt than daddies who see nothing wrong in their sons sagging their trousers like prisoners and wearing jewellery like uneducated American slum boys?

See why the Failed Parents Tribunal is a matter of urgent national importance? The problem is some of the legislators have sons who sag, plait their hair and daughters who breast are public property. Failed parents, failed politician. Such a shame. Let's check you out. If your son is not a devotee of Sango or Amadioha (god of thunder) and he plaits his hair, you are a failed parent. If your son sags and wears ear rings like his sister or shares jewellery box with his mum, you have failed God and this society. If you provide funds for your wife to by mono-straps for your daughter, you are a failed daddy. If the madness they call 'blings' reigns in your home, you should be on my community service list.

If your daughter's belly button and pants are for our eyes only, you are a guilty mum. If your daughter got married with her breasts spilling out of her bridal dress, you are guilty. Did you notice that Alhaji Bamanga Tukur's daughter's bridal wear as she took her vows to Hajiya Bola Shagaya's son was beautiful without her breast threatening anybody? I still wonder why a billionaire's daughter can wear an elegant dress without flaunting flesh while those who saved for their dresses for a whole year try to prove a moot point with their half-nude bridal wear.

If the government can't fix roads or make the public schools work, do we also blame them for badly-brought up children? How can we trust our lives, future to men and women who cannot control their children?

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of NBF News and do not necessarily reflect those of The Nigerian Voice. The Nigerian Voice will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."