WHEN SHOULD YOUR DAUGHTER START DATING?
Dating is a crucial period in the life of young people, most especially teenage girls. The excitement and emotions stirred up the feeling of being in love have often led to unpleasant outcomes. That's why most parents get really worked up when their children reach adolescence. For most parents, dating is something that should be put off until the child gets into a university and is old enough to know the realities of life.
A good number of parents just 'decree' that the child should not get into any 'hanky panky' until they are done with the national youth service year. Modernity and everything associated with it has made it difficult to trust girls of the present age. Some of them have become so exposed to immorality in the society to the extent that some 12 or 13-year-old girls are experts in abortion, use of contraceptives, etc.
They are very knowledgeable in sex matters. It is quite unfortunate that some parents treat the future of their daughters with levity. It is even saddening that when some girls bring their boyfriends home, some parents, especially mothers overlook this, and this indirectly encourages these girls. Many girls start having affairs right from secondary school, and by the time they finish their university education, if they finish at all, they would have become nuisance in the society, and already hardedned in infidelity. They rarely make good, faithful wives.
Dating, sometimes can hardly be separated from sex, because the two are somehow interwoven, except for very disciplined and well cultured girls with the fear of God. Some girls tend to be good at home, but are couples on campuses, hang out with sugar daddies, men old enough to be their fathers.
So the question is: at what age should your daughter start dating or possibly begin to have sex?
Look, we are living in a world full of divers challenges. I think at 15, I should know the guys around my daughter and at age, I likewise at 18 I should know who her boyfriend is, though, I will still indoctrinate her on the ways of God, lecture her on men and sex. I will not hide anything from her, as I would also tell her my experience; that I got married as a virgin.
It was a plus in our own days, unlike today; things are quite the other way round.
In our youth days on the wedding night, the newly wedded couple would be given a bed laid with white bed sheet and at the end of the day the stain of blood shows the woman is a virgin and it was celebrated; but now many girls get disvirgined at a tender age, some even becomes pregnant, some get infected with diverse diseases amidst Syphilis, HIV Aids, gonorrhea and so on. Our girls need to be educated, God's view and men's on sex and how to satisfy physical urge are quite different.
It is always good to make the girl comfortable, at ease so they could find it easy to discuss with you as mother to child. Learn to make your daughter your friend, not just a child or a slave who trembles and lacks freedom of expression.
Well, it all depends. No one can stop a child these days; they would always do that which is forbidden, just like in the Garden of Eden. They also would lie to experiment and eat the forbidden fruits and here we are today, expelled from the Garden of Eden. But boys could have girlfriends at age 18 and start sex within 20 and 25yrs, that is if would hold on and not start at age10.
She can have a boy friend at 18 and being a mature girl, she knows how to take care of herself in area of sex and male related matters.
Ages definitely differ one from another. Every human is quite different, so it is that children get mature at different rates and paces. The sense of Independence and being able to take care of one's self, especially when one's mother is not there must have been tested and proved to be sufficient enough to see her through the journey of life. This could only be achieved when there is an ongoing close relationship between a mother and her daughter; one that allows for sharing of secrets.
There should be mutual chances and avenue to discuss private matters, but not being too lenient either. It is true that children should be allowed to make their own mistakes sometimes, so they could be corrected and to serve as a guide against such reoccurrence, but with the interaction between the mother and the daughter.
This only can be achieved if the role of friends and mother on the other is played well and balanced in between.
I will never say to my daughter ' you have come of age, let us go shopping for a boyfriend'. No, what example are we setting for such a girl? A bad signal of course, I mean the worst legacy ever.
She can only be allowed to keep a boyfriend when she is done with her secondary school education and is enrolled in the university. Secondly, her education must not suffer for both their sakes. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend not until after my university education.
So, it should be above 20 years to ever think of that.
The appropriate age for a girl to have a boy friend is 21, yes.
At 21 she is more mature than other teenage girls out there, or in the neighborhoods, she must have learnt so much from her mother, would want to take caution from those dangerous boys out there, especially when it comes to sex.
At age 15 she is well mature enough to decide when to have a boy friend.
All she needs do is be well enlightened early enough and whatever she likes she can do, as there is no more condemnation on my mind; I have played my role. There are many of these girls with good home training, but when they get to school, they become totally different from what they were while with you.
Once you have trained and played your part in letting them know what is right and evil, let God take control, leave the rest to God.
My daughter has to wait till after marriage before she could have sex.
Though she can have a boyfriend with no sex even from age 10, though Nigerian mentality is quite different but the child changes friends as she grows and blends with other mature ones in the society, especially in school.
As she grows the boy will guide her as she grows and changes and becomes mature and starts thinking of marriage.
I will not be the one telling her when or when not to have boyfriend or sex, but I think I should be able to educate her early enough in life on boyfriends and sex, they go together, one leads to the other. Here, it is to for her to decide how to manage her life, my hand are clean off any further or future condemnation.
As for me she can have one between 18 and 20. Liberty to sex would be on wedding night, nothing more, nothing less. That is not negotiable.
Boy friends would definitely give room to sex, and, or perhaps pregnancy and abortion as one leads to the other. The best bet is avoiding boy friends and be free. Girls of today have no age limits as some; even at 12 have multiple boy friends and incessant rounds of sex romp. Sex has become the new trend in their lives, as some are more exposed and experienced than their parents in these areas, contrary to what would be thought of. They glory in immorality and take pride in it without the slightest shame.
Hardly would one get an undefiled girl at age 11, so what are talking? May God have mercy.
Boy friends would only bring distractions on whatever she does, especially education wise, her moral standards as it could turn her life around negatively.
At age 18 she is mature to have a boyfriend of her own, but should try as much as possible to behave hers elf in terms of sex, not all that glitters is gold.