Marriage Is Not Rocket Science (Insights Into Steps To Successful Marriage)

By Monday and Stella Eze
Click for Full Image Size
Monday and his wife, Stella.

For six hundred and thirty -one million, one hundred and fifty-two thousand seconds or 7305 days, I have been happily and excitedly married to my STELLAvite! We can tell you for free that marriage is not rocket science. The simpler couples make their marriage, the better it becomes.

Apart from our family alter to the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent and merciful God who has been our anchor and perpetual help, the following is the simple marriage compass we set for ourselves:

1. Going into marriage was our wilful decision and in taking the decision, we respectively confessed and laid out our true characters and dispositions, comprising the good, the bad and the ugly on the table. So, we knew each other. We knew our respective strengths and weaknesses. There was minimal room for negative surprises.

2. We resolved to focus on our strengths or positive sides and help each other change or improve on our respective weaknesses or negative sides. So, we knew the task before us.

Monday and his wife, Stella.
3. We swore to keep our friendship perpetually aflame and let it serve rightly as the foundation of our "husband-and-madam" status. This implies that even though marriage is "for better or for worse", we shall work hard to be channels of the better and team up to abate or manage the "worse" when it comes from extraneous factors. The "worse" in marriage should not proceed from any of the partners.

4. Realising that we are imperfect and pursuant to paragraph 3 above, we resolved that in times of misunderstanding, suspicion, actual provocations or outright search for each other's trouble, we do them and react to them like friends. We particularly fixed boundary on how to react to negative conducts from each other: That boundary is to react as friends and not as enemies. Truly, the way an offended friend reacts to an offence is significantly different from the way an enemy reacts.

5. As a follow-up to 4 above, we made forgiveness, penitence and humily important ingredients of our daily lives. Hence, for us, no offence is too big to be forgiven, but the forgiven must make necessary amendments, repent and sin no more.

6. We also closed all gaps and have minimal or near-zero secrets between us: We know our respective screen locks, e-mail passwords, ATM pin numbers, our friends, bank accounts and their balances, locations, what makes each other happy and so on.

The Ezes
7. We have never involved a third party in our marriage; but we have never made hearty discussions and resolutions difficult.

8. We took an over-riding decision to trust each other, run a radical caring competition and to, as much as possible, avoid anything that hurts each other.

To the glory of God, we are 20 years old in marriage today! In these years, we have realised that marriage is a portal for God's graces. Marriage should not be feared. Rather it should be approached in godly faith and sincerity. No two sincerely loving parties will fail in marriage.

As I thank God in whose garden of grace, broken trees like Stella and I have yielded fruits, I pray that it pleases him to heal all troubled marriages, satisfy the many who yearn for good unions and prosper our homes in the all-conquering name of Jesus Christ.

Friends, help me celebrate my one and only STELLAsupplement who has continued to love me notwithstanding my shortcomings.

Congratulations to me and my STELLAbalm!