Dowen College: Conjecturing Bad Parenting As The Remote Cause Of Sylvester Oromomi's Death

By Isaac Asabor

If there is any speculation that is being built around the remote cause of Sylvester Oromomi’s death, it is unarguably the one that has it that his alleged killers were ill-motivated by bad parenting. The speculation which has kept tongue wagging, and shared by not few parents who are presumably dispirited by the gory incident cannot be easily pooh-poohed as myriads of issues confronting Nigeria as a country have been traced to bad parenting.

In fact, the society from all indications is adjudged to be grossly in bad shape. Some scholars contend that we make the society and others hold too that we are products of the society. If our actions jointly help to shape the society it means that a bad society is a product of all our bad actions. In computer jargon we are familiar with the phrase, “garbage in garbage out”.

Against the foregoing backdrop, this conjecture holds that we have the capacity to shape our environment to the manner we want. In other words we reap what we sow. Almost everyone is concerned about the ills of the society because the consequences are encroaching on all without exemption. By each passing day, and in spite of all the efforts to improve the quality of life, social issues have been our bane.

Without any scintilla of exaggeration, Sociologists are unanimous with the view that it is graceful for every parent to dream of having his or her child grow up into a responsible person. However, even though every parent wishes the best for his or her child, at times bad parenting gets in the way of achieving this as was witnessed at Dowen College. In fact, bad parenting has lots of negative effects in the life of any child. It is therefore important for each and every parent to evaluate his or her parenting skills so as to know the effects of such parenting on the child, particularly as not doing that will pose as danger to the society.

While it is impossible to be an all-round perfect parent, it is never wrong to try and be the best that you can be. Since a parent guides the child, molding him or her into the person they ultimately become and also acts as a role model has been a difficult task, except by the grace of God. In fact, bad parenting can spell destruction for any child; whether from a rich home or poor home. The most common parenting mistakes made include neglecting the child and not correcting him or her. This leads to a number of problems in the children.

At this juncture, it is expedient to say that Sociologists held that most common reasons why youngsters, students in this context, become bullies in schools or colleges is because they lack basic attention from parents at home and lashes out at others for attention. Paramount among these can include neglected children, children of divorced parents, or children with parents under the regular influence of drugs and alcohol.

To buttress the foregoing view, it is germane to say that bullying is what students do if they want to carve a niche among their peers. Although bullying is a habit that can be cultivated from childhood, it comes to be fully matured at a stage a child becomes young adult as witnessed in Dowen College, and which unfortunately resulted to the untimely death of Sylvester. This stage also corresponds to the level of higher education in the higher institutions where undergraduates often suffer from bullying.

Analyzed from the foregoing perspective, it is an established fact that not few parents take the training or upbringing of their children lukewarmly. Indeed many of them do not even know what it takes to train their children. Many have erroneously believed that giving their children all the financial and material needs they ask for is all they need to become good children. Unfortunately, some parents that treated their children this way, particularly by lavishing expensive gifts on them and pandering to their emotions, have ended up being disappointed. What this means is that it takes more than showering your children with gifts and overindulging them to make them wonderful children.

Ostensibly to emphasize on the need for good child upbringing, the UN General Assembly on September 17, 2012, adopted Resolution 66/292 proclaiming June 1 to be the annual Global Day of Parents, dedicated to honoring parents throughout the world for their selfless, life-long dedication to nurturing and protecting their children and helping their full maturation as human beings.

There is no denying the fact that importance of moms and dads, and of their joint commitment in raising the next generation, cannot be overstated as the future of humanity depends on the how well moms and dads do in their mission as teachers in the “home school” where they form their children in so many essential human values, like socialization, trust, mutual respect and responsibility, education, hard work, affection, compassion, forgiveness, solidarity, and ethical development.

In fact, the views expressed by Akintunde Festus Adeyemo, a legal consultant, based in the USA, in the Punch newspaper edition of December 6, 2021 from its all ramifications attests to the fact that bad parenting ill-motivated the alleged killers of Sylvester Oromomi to exterminate his life.

In fact, the intro to the piece, titled “Murder at Dowen College: Thoughts on parenting and legal remedies” to my understanding captures the fact that bad parenting is to be blamed for the collective criminal disposition of some younger ones. He wrote, “Delinquent children are capable of unbelievable crimes. I was once a counsellor at Eaton County Juvenile Correctional Facilities. When I read their files, I was shocked. Even as their counsellor, and during one-on-one sessions, I was always looking over my shoulders. I worked with these delinquent kids for a couple of months, and one thing was unambiguously clear: Their parents failed them”.

To conclude this piece, it suffices to opine that the parent-child relationship is important because it lays the foundation for the child’s personality, life choices, and overall behavior. It can also affect the strength of their social, physical, mental, and emotional health.

In fact, children who have a healthy relationship with their parents are more likely to develop positive relationships with other people around them. They can establish secure bonds and friendships with their peers. Thus, the healthy involvement of parents in their children’s day to day life helps ensure that their kids can perform better socially and academically.

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