In Defence Of The Side Chick

How do they say it again on Nigerian Twitter? I think it is something like; "I was on my own and trailer came to jam me".

So, I was really on my own before media personality, Ufuoma Joe Umusu(of decided to slay Rachael Roy on Instagram. She reposted Rachael's Instagram post about "great hairs", and went on to brag about how the "Beehive" went after Rachael such that she had to make her Instagram account private.

For those who do not know, Rachael Roy is the lady whom Jay Z allegedly had an affair with, while still married to the "almighty" Beyonce. So technically, Rachael was a side chick(in the real sense of the word). The Beyhive of course are Beyonce's blind fans, who like bees, respond to the call to sting without asking why! So, Queen Bey throws shades at Rachael, and the beyhive go after the poor side chick.

It is necessary to sometimes consider the position of the "side chick". Like I told Ufuoma, if the side chick is bold, it is because the man(and perhaps his woman) made it possible.

Nobody wants to remember that the side chick is a human being, who bleeds like the rest of us, hurts too, has feelings, and like the supposed main chick, had tripped for the man for probably the same reasons. She too deserves some happiness, even if the happiness will come in sips. She had weighed the entire situation, and for her, "snatched kisses" give a certain sense of fulfilment(and they do for real).But what the so-called main chick forgets is this; because what the side chick has is taken in bits, it is sweeter, and she is more motivated to make that sweetness last. Thus while the main chick(or wife) is busy being so laid back, the side chick is busy thinking of how best to make the most of the little time she would have with the man. So invariably, she gives the man the most euphoric moment to remember. Granted that the main chick or wife rules the home, but she most times rules a home devoid of any spark. The side chick provides that spark, and when the man decides to relax a bit from all the stress of work, he remembers the spark.

He would not want to spend his fun hours with the person who is already acting like his mother(not even sister). He wants something else; something that quickens his heart; something that makes him feel like a “lion”. The wife or the main chick for some reasons will not provide that, so he thinks of the side chick, picks up his phone, and calls her. So gradually, while the main chick remains the queen of the home, the side chick had become the head of the brood!

Friends, family, and fellow countrymen, I come here not to slay the main chick, but simply to say that the side chick deserves our respect. Multi-million dollar empires have been built from the inspiration derived when a man is on his side chick. Billions of dollars have been made for the main chick to get fat on, from the intelligent advice given by the side chick to the man.

Crucify them if you like, but they are human, they feel, need, and also deserve respect for all they have done for our society.

In a world where it is increasingly difficult to differentiate a married man from the normal young guy( have you seen young married men lately?), any sane person can fall in love with anybody, irrespective of former laid down principles. Nobody therefore has the right to blame a young woman for falling in love with, or dating a man( especially if the man is one of these new generation young-married, semi-bachelors-married men) even though the man is married. More so, nobody has the right to crucify such a young woman, when we laud our men for their own "conquests".

Side chicks are deserving of respect and happiness. In fact, everybody deserves happiness, even if they get it in trickles. So please, let side chicks get some form of happiness. They are already swallowing tonnes of bitter pills in knowing that “their” man occasionally( really occasional) moans in the arms of another woman. Should they now be deprived of even the little pockets of happiness that sip from? Abeg have mercy!

If Beyonce fans are mad at Rachael, they should be madder at their queen for letting her man be conquered by a(what did Ufuoma call her again?) "thot".

This is just my own say, let the beyhive come!
*Oruh tweets with @liliemmyz

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Articles by Nnaemeka Oruh