A Note To Buhari
Hello President Buhari,
Just a short note before you get too busy trying to overhaul the earth.
You know we love you. Love you so much that our creativity soared just to idolize you. We gave you FeBuhari, but when that was not realized, we moved on to March for Buhari. From all the corners of the country, we spoke; 'A vote for Buhari is a vote for change'.
We brushed the certificate-less noise aside. Reminded them of Ronald Reagan when your age was mentioned. A thousand documentaries could not stop us. Undeterred by the cards of ethnicity played to push you out, we marched for Buhari.
We saw Aisha fry Akara, Osinbajo take on the boli sellers, even the governors in their different states had these Nollywood worthy materials in the chapters of the March for Buhari.
Now that you have won, welcome to the spotlight. Welcome to the seat of governance. Welcome to Aso Rock.
Welcome to the generation that uses Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Welcome to a generation that will watch all your steps and words. We don't verify. We share what we hear or read. Keep them in if you don't want us to talk.
Just as a reminder, dear president; the name of your deputy is Yemi Osinbajo. People will not be comfortable with you calling him Osunbade from now on. If you have the time, also check INEC and Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi. On another note, all the stunts pulled by your team will have to be sustained. Aisha will need more pans now for her to be trusted, and Professor Yemi will have to come up with ways of making those boli women comfortably afford tuition for their children if he wants to be smiled at when next he comes.
Welcome to the generation that gives her leaders names. We actually do it with joy. We called your predecessor clueless, be prepared for 'aged', and others that will come. We won't need a dictionary. You won't need one too. Just keep to your words.
Like you promised stabilizing the price of crude oil; we won't mind if you call all the 'dibias', marabouts, spiritualists, and gods to hearken to your voice and sort this out. That's just one. You've also promised lifting the Naira to the level of the dollar. How you hope to do that within four years, I do not know, but I have faith in you. The soothsayer that convinced you to say this though demands my commendation. Nice job! The sad thing though is that we will start expecting from the first day in office.
We have Night of a Thousand Laughs, The AY Show, and many other comedy shows in the country now. They are worse than the paparazzi, and you might find the entire nation laughing at your mistake on national television, and on your birthday with your grandchildren seated.
It's just a joke though, you know, just a joke. Nothing to worry about.
Dear General, No! GMB. This is 2015, not 1983. A lot has changed. Even your title. Lest I forget, you won't wear khaki any more, and kaftans don't scare anyone. We also have a Senate and a House of Representatives now, not your former Provisional Ruling Council
We have all changed.
Brace up, dear president. It's a new day.
Dum Syl Aminikpo tweets via @dumsyl