Do Not Vote For Me - President Goodluck Jonathan

By StateCraft

Grand Commander of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, today the 8th of January 2015, made desperate pleas to the Nigerian public not to vote for him. He delivered the passionate calls today at a rally in Lagos kicking off the Presidential Campaign of the People's Democratic Party.

The President described himself as “old,” declaring that he and his generation had “failed Nigeria,” apparently because of the country's inability to “visit the moon.”

President Jonathan furthered the case against his reelection by advising members of the public against voting duplicitous individuals. “The same mouth says something from the right and another thing from the left,” he said. This is a quality in himself he would go on to underscore by declaring that the Movement For the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND) attempted to assassinate him, despite himself absolving the group of guilt four years ago: “We know the persons behind the terrorist attacks on the nation,” he said in 2010. “We know they used an organisation that operates in the Niger Delta called MEND as a front, but we are aware that MEND is not a terrorist organisation.”

He further defended the group in 2010, declaring that they were his “people”. “It is erroneous to think that my people who have been agitating for good living will deliberately blow up the opportunity they have now,” Jonathan said.

President Jonathan, who displayed an uncharacteristic amount of vigour while speaking at the Tafawa Balewa Square at Onikan, did not stop there, but went on to ask citizens to demand answers from former leaders regarding their defence budget expenditures. The President, under whose regime mutinous soldiers have shot at their leaders, and been sentenced to death for demanding proper equipment, stated his inability to see reason with the notion of people voting for leaders who do not equip their military.

About StateCraft
StateCraft is Africa's leading governance communication firm, with a mission to galvanise a generation to make informed choices. It is a subsidiary of RED, an innovative media group focused on exciting and empowering an evolving generation of Africans through the media's limitless possibilities.