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DRAB AND DUMB

By 'Justice' Bolatito Adebayo NBF News
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Extra mile
Why should you reveal your cleavage? Also you have the guts to get it decorated so well. To add salt to injury, you used jet black eye pencil to line your eyebrows. My jury is livid and angry! You would be granted bail on the condition that you show evidence of paying tax and with two sureties who have property in choice areas in Lagos.

Flabby arms
Flabby arms, discolored and problematic skin should be covered-up . We think you should see a specialist immediately. But before then, you've been mandated to jog every morning from Ijora Badia to Okokomiako until we notice changes.



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Barbie doll
Madam, we have been told that your baby doll dress makes you look more like a Barbie doll. Have you forgotten what Section 123, subsection 23a of the baby doll dress code says? It says; 'not every shape can fit into a baby doll dress'. My jury thinks this looks uninteresting and you are fined N600, 000.



Caught on the wrong side
We received a petition that your cleavage caused so much trouble in a public place and you weren't bothered about the consequences. Since we have just received a request from the market women at Mile 12 for more hands in order to help curb food scarcity, you are hereby sentenced to Mile 12 market where you would assist in off loading tomatoes and pepper for the next 3months.



Pointer
Haba! Haven't you been warned times without number that flaunting your pointers indiscriminately is dangerous and hazardous to other road users? We hereby hand you over to the Federal Road Safety boss until further notice; but before then, you are to pay a fine of N500, 000.



Slipping off
Why bother when you knew that you can't pull this look so well? All evidence shows that you are uncomfortable. Is your dress not slipping off? Can't you see you're almost bare up there? You have been fined N700, 000.

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