Nigeria’s Republic Of Turai Halal And Boko Haram: by Prince Charles Dickson


"Things look a lot different from Kano to Calabar than they do from Aso Rock. All Nigerian politicians, from the local government to national, are insulated from the hopelessness the rest of the people face daily. So it's all too easy to convince themselves that things are improving. Step aside Abuja and Lagos; Nigerian cities are a big mess, ravaged by human tragedies. And the incompetence of (PDP as a government) has taken it to a new level fraught with catastrophic danger". - Ikenna Anakute, New York. In the last three weeks three quarters of Nigeria has been without internet, broadband, 'badband', or 'sadband', the only band that was working was the Turai halal, Brazilian halal, and boko haram, Petroleum Bill and university haram. For the uninitiated, Halal is an Arabic word meaning lawful or permitted. The opposite of halal is haram, which means unlawful or prohibited.

While many Nigerians are wondering how the next hour will happen, those without problems gathered weeks back in the name of cancer to fool us.

Over N6 billion was realized at the fundraising in aid of the 'International' Cancer Centre in Abuja, a pet project of the first lady. The project which was estimated to cost N10 billion is as good a done deal. I will live and not die, and say without mincing words that in the next two years, there will be nothing to show…and it is halal…very acceptable and legal.

The Chief launcher, Alhaji Aminu Dantata flagged-off the naira rain launch with N500 million but was surpassed by Alhaji Mangal Dahiru whose total donation, including those presented on behalf of his friends and business associates amounted to N2billion. Chairman of BUA group, Abdul Samad Rabiu also donated N250million.

Co-chief launcher Aliko Dangote donated one billion naira while Chief Rochas Okorocha donated N120 million in collaboration with international donors. 'Dis nation no go kill person, which kind of faceless Toronto donors'.

Among the other donors are Governor's Forum, N720 million; (Sylva, Amaechi, Uduaghan, Godswill Akpabio and co, apparently from their Harvard school tuition purse.

PDP gave N10 million as part of its 'widow's mite' and a group of 20 ex-governors, N40 million at least to help water the ground at EFCC: Ibori, Odili, and co.

In her remarks, Hajiya Turai, disclosed that the centre was borne out of her desire to contribute her little quota to help achieve a focused delivery of healthcare services to women and children, especially the rural poor. That is halal!

Also in his speech, Obasanjo who doubled as master of ceremony said15 million lives would have been lost in year 2010 to cancer when Nigeria is expected to join the most industrialized nations of the world. He said he believes there were four communicable diseases that Nigeria and the global community battle with which he identified as cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes and hypertension.

Dr. Obasanjo at his best, off course, it is halal, only that the part of us joining the industrialized nations of the world is haram…abomination and unacceptable.

So that we are doubly sure, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Senator Mohammed Adamu Aliero, disclosed that the centre is an NGO duly registered with Corporate Affairs Commission with trustees made up of credible Nigerians.

Not as a way of suggestion but to show my disdain I wonder why the boys in MEND have not yet figured out how to 'MEND' some of those really responsible for 'their' and 'our' problems. They should visit such gatherings, not atlas cove or kidnapping some Philippi oil mechanic.

While I kept reflecting how bad we had sank as a nation and the madness that has become acceptable, it only got worse.

My dear brothers in 'boko haram' struck. A lot of lives, innocent lives have been lost, despite the best of efforts at cover up, one thing the media did not say was both Muslims and Christians lost their lives.

No one will bother at the number of widows and orphans that the death of the policemen killed have 'birthed'. Figures keep fluctuating, as we will never get the real count.

The mad man that read the Holy Koran up side down has been killed, and with him, all the information regarding financiers, modus operandi all gone. The police discharged bullets into him 'accidentally' and lied against the dead man.

And we will just forget in a couple of weeks, no lessons learnt, no efforts at looking at the real issues, issues of unemployment, poor leadership in the North particularly and the nation at large. A state toying with collapse, and trust us, we will set up a panel of enquiry.

Please can someone tell me how these guys mobilized in hours and wrecked havoc on several states and there was no security report? What was the SSS doing, the police had no report, whatsoever, and how about our 'Adam eating the apple' classified security reports. Where they all haram?

Back to madam Turai, I am not one of those that believe that she is in charge, but I do know she is one of those in charge, and it is with shame that I admit this.

There is nothing wrong with an influential first lady but there is everything wrong with a first lady that is not 'straight'. They have scraped the office of the first lady but a local axiom says 'wayo man die, another wayo man bury am'. These persons we call leaders have never be found wanting in inventing ways to fleece us.

The billions that were realized that day only go further to enforce the hypocrisy of leadership.

How many Nigerians in the rural area can get to Abuja for a cancer screening, how they will even know they have cancer is another miracle, they are yet to feed, and we are talking cancer.

This is the eighth week of a nationwide universities' strike, all those that donated billions cannot boast of a small functional well equipped clinic with one doctor in their respective domains, yet they recycle the billions they have stolen and as a people we see no haram in that.

While a host of us commentators are dwelling on the social and economic reasons of why 'boko haram', how they could have been stopped, the fact remains that these killings, whether religious, ethnic or otherwise the real 'haram' is not far off. Soon we will commence a looting haram, a kill all PDP elements haram, Nigerians will begin the real haram against their leaders, we know them, it will be bad, lets stop deceiving ourselves that it wont happen.

While the nation was on fire, Mallam Yar'adua was enjoying all the halal that Brazilian samba had to offer, hypocritically signing another energy deal. A laughing stock deal on how Nigeria could learn from the Brazilian power distribution and payment system. We do not have electricity and it is halal, we tax Nigerians for the lack of it and it is equally halal.

Nigerians are tired of the 'harams' that have become 'halals'. For fear of sounding like a chorus that is repeated over and over and over again. I will end with this little on-going fraud and allow us to judge whether there is hope.

In the University of Jos, I stumbled in on a conversation between two top council members. I will summarize, they expect that 28, 000 students will attend their post UME test.

The Post-UME test cost N2,300 and that comes up to a total of N64400000, a consultant is getting some 40% of that and the University takes the rest, truth is that approximately only 2,500 students will be admitted.

The consultants have links to somebody in the top of the university, do the math.

Even the University local ASUU cannot make sense of it all. What will the consultant really do, I am told they will bring in computers for the test…damn, what kind of test for kids coming from rural areas, they have sat for JAMB, passed, some of them do not have hands on application on computers…Haba…this is HARAM…the real boko haram!

The security situation is relatively calm in Jos, but why this risk of such senseless proportion just because someone wants quick money. Did I forget to tell us, the bank gets the N300 extra on each N2000 for charges?

Is this halal or haram, government stealing halal, armed robbery haram, western education haram, but driving cars made as a result of western education halal…pilgrimage via airplane made as a result of western education haram, traveling by donkey halal… Staying back in your country to solve problems is haram, running to Brazil leaving more problems is halal. Rigging halal, good governance haram, good roads and hospitals haram, killing halal, peace and unity haram…

The earlier we stop calling goat and ram the same thing because they have four legs the better for us.

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