THE DUSTBIN DAYS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED!
Several years ago, Alhaji Umaru Dikko scandalized many right-thinking Nigerian citizens by publicly chastising those who were presumptuous enough to postulate that many Nigerians were beginning to go hungry. The astute Kaduna-based politician bluntly pointed out that there was no sign that Nigerians were going hungry, since they were were not yet eating out of dustbins…
I don't know if Umaru Dikko (whom I have not heard about for some time now) is still alive, but if he is, I am sure he will be pleased to learn that the terrifying moment that he boldly predicted has long since arrived : Our people are actually eating out of dustbins all over the place!
The genesis of the present article is that I recently personally witnessed unforgettable sight in Victoria Island, which is widely held to be the most elegant and most expensive part of Lagos, where the wealthy elite are concentrated…
Night had already fallen, but security lights from some neighbouring houses were providing enough bright illumination for me to be perfectly certain that what I was witnessing was not a mirage of some kind: I had just climbed into my car and was getting ready to drive off when I saw a man approach a large rectangular-shaped dustbin near where I was parked. After casting a quick furtive look round, this Nigerian brother physically climbed into the dustbin to scavenge. As I looked on with a mixture of horror and fascination, he emerged a few minutes later and climbed out of the dustbin, munching happily on what appeared to be a piece of stale bread…
The man passed directly in front of me thereafter, so I can confidently vouch that he was not a lunatic. If he was one, he did not appear to be giving any visible signs of madness: As far as I could judge, this unfortunate member of the human species was merely a desperate and hungry individual…
And so, there before my very eyes, the terrible moment that had been predicted (or longed for?) by Alhaji Umaru Dikko had plainly manifested itself! A fellow Nigerian (I am unable to say how many more may now have chosen the same solution at this point in time) was eating his evening banquet from a dustbin…
As I watched this terrible scene unfold, my blood ran cold. I was both fascinated and repulsed. At first I felt numb. Then I grew hot and angry….
I witnessed what I am now narrating only a few hours before sitting down to write the present article.
And I am writing about it because I feel compelled to share this vision of hell with my fellow Nigerians, especially those who still have some vestige of conscience. Those of my brothers and sisters who have some conscience left will know what to think: I do not need to expantiate.
For those who have thrown away their conscience and are busy celebrating all manner of scandalous weddings graced by a-list Nollywood actors and actresses while our nation is on fire, I wish to sound a timely word of warning : IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW IT, NIGERIA IS ON THE VERGE OF CRASHING!
I am never sure to what extent the contents of religious books should be taken at face value (no offence meant!), but could it be that what we are currently witnessing in Nigeria is a modern day manifestation of the biblical description of Sodom and Gomorra…?
When it was recently narrated in several newspaper publications that one of our highly esteemed State Governors took an eighteen year old undergraduate Safinatou Diallo clone on a shopping spree to London and bought her a N24 million naira sports jeep as a memento of the visit on their return to Nigeria, many people merely yawned and looked the other way.
Most interestingly, this Nigerian elite colonialist class has many amazing characteristics, chief among which is a remarkable ability to operate in a fantasy world of their own…
Most likely, the statistics on which all these wildly optimistic assessments of the rapid rate of Nigeria's economic growth are based are being beamed back to earth by our 'lost' satellites….Nigeria we hail thee!
Balogun writes from Lagos