WOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR DAUGHTER BECOME SECOND WIFE?
Would you allow your daughter become second wife?
By GIDEON OPARINDE
Sunday, March 14, 2010
In Islam, polygamy is considered an injunction from the Almighty. It is believed that Allah approves it. Christians think otherwise saying, if God wanted it. He could have created more women for Adam to marry in the beginning. Even Christians practise polygamy. Would you give your daughter to a married man? A number of parents responded to this issue in a little survey Sunday Sun conducted. Excerpts
MRS. THOMAS F.
Personally I don't like it . I come from a polygamous home. I saw a lot of problems there, I know what it all entails. The bitterness, the regrets, the deprivation and the cut-throat rivalry among wives.
My mother is the first wife. She experienced jealousy, hatred, self centeredness, and more. In a nut-shell, my religion does not permit it. Hardly would you find peace in polygamous homes, and if there is, you should not sleep with both eyes closed. Be watchful, because anything can happen.
I'm not in a polygamous home and I won't let my daughter be in one .If she insists on being a second wife or third, it means she is ready to face my wrath.
As a Christian, I'm against polygamy . My religion is against it, so why would my daughter differ?
I can allow my daughter to be a second wife to a rich man, but just on one condition. The man must be God-fearing and be ready to love both wives equally . Once this is done I believe there is no cause for alarm.
MR. JIMI ABDULRAHAMAN
In Islamic religion, nothing whatsoever is wrong with it. A man can have a minimum of four wives, but he should be a able to satisfy them. In other words, he should not treat them differently and he should be able to provide for their needs and make them happy.
But I think it is not necessary for a man, because he is a Muslim to marry more than one wife.
For example, I have just a wife and I am satisfied and happy with her.
The more wives you have, the lesser would be your love for them.
If you have a wife, you will love her wholeheartedly, but if they are two, at least, there would be certain traits you would find in each of them which might attract you more to one than the other. In other words, your love will be shared between them, rather than being focused on just one of them.
Secondly, the more wives you have, the more expenses you will incur.
I will never allow my daughter to become a second wife, whether to a rich man or whatever. I would not be happy to see her suffer from her rival or her in-laws or whoever for whatever reason.
I cannot and will never allow such. It means you are putting your lovely gold up for barter or for a mere cheap thing. Giving out your daughter to a rich man, especially an already married man is the beginning of an unending problem.
If that happens, it means both the daughter and her mother would be enslaved by such a man and his wealth.
As for me, I won't allow it to happen because it is not proper. No matter the kind of money the man is spending on her or the family in as-much as he is married I won't allow it. My daughter will never walk into a polygamous home .
Scripturally, it is not advisable, because in the Garden of Eden, God performed the first surgery( taking a rib out of Adam to create Eve, his wife). God, of course, had the power to make him more wives, but because He knew what would befit Adam He didn't.
Based on my belief, I don't see any reason for a man to marry two women. It is of no use. God created a woman for one man and vise-versa. Having two wives, I think is abnormal and going against God's ordinances.
Many girls of today are only after what they see, it is not that they really love the men they run after. So why should we be enslaved by their riches?
As long as I know, my daughter, when she is ripe for marriage will dare not marry an already married man, whether rich or poor.
F OLASHADE FENWA
I won't allow my daughter to be a second wife, irrespective of whom she is dating, whether rich or poor. It is obvious that most polygamous homes are usually troublesome. They shorten one's life-span . Happiness is far away from such homes but many endure and become slaves of love till death do them part, while some opt out and remain single parents and the husband takes possession of his children. At the end she could remain without setting eyes on her own children again .
MR. VICTOR STEPHEN
No, being a second wife is not a dignified position in the home.
MR. JOSHUA EMIANTOR
Most ladies that get married to married men do it for covetousness sake. If we really ask ourselves why they would not go for a poor man, we would then see they are after money and material things. The love is not there and I won't allow it.
It is not negotiable. Whether I give her out or not, what I know is that I won't allow it.
All we want in life is happiness and I'm sure no woman would be happy seeing her daughter suffer in the hands of her rival or husband.
I don't like it.