I can’t withdraw money without my wife’s permission — Abubakar Yakubu
I can't withdraw money without my wife's permission — Abubakar Yakubu
Abubakar Yakubu is an actor and he has been married to Precious for eight years. In this interview, they talk about their union
How did you meet?
Yakubu: I met her before she left secondary school. She was in her final year then. She was a very innocent and naive girl who took me like a friend and teacher she could talk and relate to.
At what point did you decide you would marry him?
Precious: Two months after we met, I realised that he was the person God wanted me to marry. Though I was young, I knew that I would say yes if he proposed to me.
Yakubu: The first day I saw her, as she walked towards me, I just said, 'That's my wife coming.'
What qualities did you see in him?
Precious: He is a very patient, tolerant, generous and selfless person. He can go to the extent of displeasing himself just to please other people and there is no lady who would not love such a man.
You were a Moslem when you met her, was she one too?
Yakubu: No, she was not a Moslem; she has always been a Christian and we still practise our individual religions till date.
How do you cope as a Christian wife, living with a Moslem husband?
Precious: Before we got married, we had put that into consideration. We decided that we met religion on earth and when we die, we will leave religion behind. We did not allow religion to become a barrier to our love; we decided that we would keep practising our individual religions. During festive periods (of both religions), we all celebrate together. My baby has a Christian and an Islamic name and we have been living like that without problems.
Where do you worship?
Precious: I worship with the Mountain Of Fire and Miracles Church.
What was your parents' reaction when you presented them with a Christian as your future wife?
Yakubu: They were reluctant but in the Koran, it is stated that a Moslem man can marry a Christian woman. It is only a Moslem woman who cannot marry from another religion. Moreover, religion should add to people's happiness instead of taking away from it. If God has designed that this is the way we should be, I should not be the one to change it. I follow her to church and to deliverance service, I also fast with them. God is one. It is only when people worship something else that they become scared of God. In my wife's church, you pray for yourself, just like in Islam. The solutions to people's problems are with God and if people seek Him, He will answer them.
Actors have a negative reputation with marriage, were you not worried?
Precious: No. I was not because my husband is not like any other actor. I have known him for a long time now. He is not a womaniser, I was in secondary school when he met me, he gave me time to go to the university, I graduated and went for National Youth Service Corps, but he waited for me. That obviously showed that he was in love and if a man is in love, even when he sees other women, he would not be tempted. He is a wonderful man and if I should come back to this world a second time, he would be my husband.
Why didn't you marry somebody in your industry?
Yakubu: It is destiny. Probably, if I had seen and fallen in love with someone else, I would have married her; unfortunately I did not see anyone. I dated my wife for 13 years before we married. I have been in the industry for more than 30 years but I have not been attracted to anybody enough to want to settle down with her. Besides, there were not so many women in the industry in the 90s and the few girls in the industry at the time were Christians. Socially and religiously, I needed somebody who could understand and relate with me and take me as I was.
You picked her as a young girl, were you not afraid that some other man might pick her along the way?
Yakubu: I trusted her completely. My friends told me at the time that she may leave me if she graduated from the university but my mind kept telling me that she was for me.
Precious: I met other men in school but I was not interested. I decided that Yakubu was the man for me. When it comes to a relationship, it is different from settling down, I settled for him. Back in the days, my corner in the hostel was decorated with his pictures and today, when my friends see me, they are amazed that I eventually married him after all those years.
How long have you been married?
Yakubu: We have been married for eight years.
How has it been?
Precious: It has been great. I thank God for the man He gave me and I am happy I married him. I know that as people from different background, there must always be some issues but nobody has ever come to mediate for us.
When there is a quarrel, who apologises first?
Yakubu: I apologise a lot even when she is at fault.
Precious: Before we got married eight years ago, he was always the first to apologise. Since we got married, he flexes his ego but we always find a way to settle our differences. It is either I call him or he sends me short message on my phone.
Do you operate a joint account?
Yakubu: Yes, we do. She is the principal signatory, I cannot take money without her signature but she can take without mine and I like it that way because I am a big spender, I may empty the account under seconds.
Are there times he wants to take money and you prevented him?
Precious: There has been no time like that. I would never prevent him from taking money because he has given me enough privilege, telling him not to take money would be taking things for granted considering the fact that there are men who do not allow their wives to know what is in their accounts.
What does he do that makes you angry?
Precious: Sometimes, he stays out late with his friends and they have too much to drink.
Yakubu: The normal thing women do to offend a man but she is more like a sister, whenever she misbehaves, I will pretend as if I am angry and put her back on track. We would laugh about it later. There is no definitive character in her that I don't like.