Things to know before you say 'I Do!'

By The Statesman

Marriage has responsibilities attached to it. Both the man and the woman must co-operate in fulfilling their responsibilities, so that the home can be sustained.

Negligence on the part of either party can affect the sustenance of the home. Co-operation, therefore, is a necessity.

 The wife, for instance, should submit to her husband in the home, be chaste, respectful and pure in her conversation. She should keep her home, making it a conducive place for the Holy Spirit to dwell.

The man on the other hand, must play a leadership role in the home, make provision for his family and train his children in the way of the Lord. When both the man and the woman play their roles well, it becomes easy for the home to be sustained.

No storm of life will be able to destabilize their home, because the force of agreement will be in operation.

In case one of the parties does not co-operate in fulfilling his/her own responsibilities, the other party should not use that as an excuse for negligence.

The faithful party should fulfill his/her own part, live a life that speaks and then prayerfully seek guidance from God on how to go about carrying out other things! Let's look at some of the responsibilities:

The Love Responsibility

Before you say "I do', it is therefore, important for you to know your individual responsibility in marriage. As a husband, you are to love your wife. It is not an admonition or suggestion; it is God"s instruction to be obeyed whether convenient or not, the nature of your wife notwithstanding.

Among your vows in marriage, you willingly said before witnesses that you would love her. God's instruction therefore, for husbands is to love their wives in spite of their short comings and errors. God's Word says:

Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). For those of you who are married, you may say, 'You don't know my wife, she doesn't submit to me. 'Are you sure it is her fault and not yours? A good leader will always get submissive followers.

If you are already married and your love for your wife is not in place, you need to ask God to rekindle the love for your wife in your heart, because according to God's Word, the love for ones wife must come next after the love for God (Ephesians 5:28-29). Someone said, 'Love is not love until it is expressed'' God's love for humanity found expression in the giving of Jesus.

 Let love find expression in your thoughts, words and actions. If you truly love your wife it will reflect in how you talk to her. Abusive and critical languages do not show love but the opposite.

Some others can't say 'I love you'' to their wives; it's like five years ago since they last said it. This shouldn't be so. A woman will always like to hear her husband say, 'I love you'.

The Submission Responsibility

You must never enter into marriage, if you know you are not ready to submit to your husband. There are no two drivers in a car. A person drives, while the passengers follow along

They can only point out things the driver may have overlooked, or feel he needs to watch out for; but the steering wheel is still in the driver's hands. This is why God's Word declares: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).

Many people want to eat the fruit of a happy home, but are not ready to be obedient to the terms of the covenant. This cannot happen. God's Word says: If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19).

You can join the company if you wish. God is no respecter of persons. If you will be obedient like others, you can also enjoy what others are enjoying.

Marriage is meant to be sweet, enjoyable and failure-proof, if only couples will obey the terms of the covenant as stated in God's Word. God's Word is our manual for living.

When you follow the instruction in it, you are sure of enjoying success in every area of life.

When we buy a new electrical device or tool, there are instructions inside that need to be followed in other to make good use of the product. So, also is marriage.

There are instructions from the manufacturer, which we are expected to follow in other to make success out of it. Many of us don't bother with the instructions. We just put together the item as best we can. And sometimes that works.

 But if it doesn't, we have to go back and read the directions to find out what we did wrong. As the old saying goes, 'If all else fails, read the directions.'

When it comes to marriage, many couples have used the same approach. They do it without bothering to read the instructions. Sadly, the result is that many marriages aren't working.

Husbands and wives find that they can't live together in peace, because they don't read or heed the instructions. Marriages are failing at terribly high rates these days, just because many refuse to follow God's Instructional Manual for Marriage.

God's Word says: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). The first statement here says,...A man leave his FATHER and MOTHER...(Genesis 5:3).

Leaving father and mother means more than leaving their physical house. It means to gain parental independence, to be able to take decisions on your own and be responsible for them without running to parents for direction all the time.

To allow yourself to be controlled by your parents is unscriptural. It does not mean neglecting or disrespecting them and refusing to cater for them.

What should follow leaving according to God's instructions is a cleaving. God's Word says: ..Shall be JOINED unto his wife... (Ephesians 5:3). To cleave means to be joined.

The man must cleave to his wife, so after the solemnization of their union, nothing must be allowed to pull them apart. Not friends, family, or job, or tradition.

You must live together as husband and wife, in obedience to the terms of the covenant. The grace to live together as couples is available if you are saved. You get saved by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.

If you want to be saved and become a child of God now, you can say this simple prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake.

Forgive me my sins, take over my life, make me a child of God and let your peace reign over my life.

Congratulations! You are now a child of God. You will not fail in Jesus' mighty name. See you next week and God bless!

If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and He will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God's Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

E-mail: [email protected]

Worship with us this and every Sunday at Winners' Chapel International Tema or Accra.

Tema: Along harbour road,

Motorway roundabout, near Tarzan.

Tel: 0243-512169.  

Time - 7:00am


Accra: Dabeban Loop, Near Melcom Stores

 North Kanashie.

 Tel: 021-229000

Time: 7:30am