Mum Saved Me

I was on my way to the house from school one morning when he called me. His message? He had been watching me walk past his house on my way to school everyday; and that he loved me. Love me? No one had ever told me that.

He told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and I believed him, I even felt flattered. He asked me if I would be his girlfriend and I said yes.

I was so confused that I didn't actually know what to say. So I became Paa Kwesi's girlfriend. I didn't really know exactly what that meant, but I felt excited about it anyway.

He normally went to work in the morning, and I also left the house as early as 7:00am, so he would wait for me then we would walk together to the station for a means of transport to our various destinations.

He normally bought me chocolate, drinks and cookies on his way home from work. But along the line, I felt something wasn't right, I knew the effects of early relationships as well as the related complications.

I found myself guilty of doing what I knew was wrong, so I told Paa Kwesi I wanted to get out of the relationship. But he tried to convince me not to change my decision but I was adamant.

Then he threatened to commit suicide if I ever did that. I became frightened, the mere thought of someone dying because of me and writing a note that I was the reason for his death made me feel so sick.

I lived in this fear for months. I was always thinking about it and it made me feel so depressed. Ewurasi, my close pal, who feared for what would happen, advised me not to break up with him.

Though none of my parents knew about it, I decided the best thing was to tell my mum all about it. I was afraid though. I knew that even if she scolded me, she would know the right thing to do.

One day, when she came home from work, she informed me that she'd gotten my terminal report which was an improvement upon the previous one and would, therefore, buy me my long-awaited necklace. I, therefore, siezed the opportunity to open up to her.

Yaba: Mum (scratching my head), there is something I want to tell you.

Mum: Yes, Yaba, what is it?

Yaba: Mum, em (very nervous), you see, I have a fri....end. Um but I feel I should break up with him, but...

Mum: (Patiently) But what? Yaba speak up.

Yaba: He's threatened to commit suicide if I do that.

Mum: Do what? Stop the em, em.

Yaba: I was so afraid that I've told him I will not break up with him again, but I'm afraid he would carry out his threat.

Mum: You know what, most people make such threats to harm others or even commit suicide when they ask for a break-up but they do that just to scare them to stay in the relationship. Don't mind him. Please watch what you do so you don't bring any problems oh. I have no one to fall on.

I know what to do next. Yaba, I know you weren't so comfortable in telling me about this, but I want you to know that I am your friend, do not fear to come to me whenever you have a problem. Can you promise me that?

Yaba: (Smiling) Yes, mum.

With that, I took leave of her. I felt so relieved, it was as if some heavy load had been taken off me. There and then, I decided to write a letter to him and gave it to a cousin to send it to him. I stated that I did not care whether he would commit suicide or not, and that whatever he decided on would be his own problem. Though I wrote all that, I was still afraid of his reaction.

Without my knowledge, my mum went to see Paa Kwesi and threatened to report him to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Police Service if he ever came my way again. Since then, he avoided me whenever he saw me and that was fine with me. I had also changed my route to school.

To all young girls out there, it's not the best to enter into early relationships. But when you do and realise your mistake, don't let anyone stop you. Go ahead and break the relationship, it will do you no good.

We should also learn to confide in others, especially our mothers, they should be our best friends as they've been girls like us before and, therefore, have gone through such things.

Story by Yaba