Your brother’s wife is a are a foolish winchress

By Fatimah Bakare-Dickson

Early this morning, I had a knock on my door, my friend and neighbor came crying to me again. On many occasions we had interceded for her family.

My friend is married with three adorable children who have been in and out of school. Her husband always plays the victim and my friend does same also.

I have always wondered why she describes her brother as evil and it’s always the fault of the wife; not her parents that brought her to this world.

And for waking me up this morning we need to put a lot of things straight. She started sobbing, if my brother had not married this evil woman, he would have given me the money and all of us would have been better off and my children would have had a better life.

She continued, can you imagine, my brother gave his wife a car instead of our mother, his kids attend a very expensive school and we have to manage public school.

Last week my brother’s son was in Dubai for an excursion organized by Europeans while our mother has never traveled before.

I listened to her pain as she narrated her ordeal with the brother’s wife—the winch.

My dear Muntasir Adamu Kanam would always say I listen to both sides. In this case I do not have access to the sister in-law. But I recall, sometimes ago, she told me how helpful her brother had been before he got married, then I told her how difficult it is for my own family too in this change era.

I went further to ask her, how old is her parents last child, she comfortably said her brother neglected the 30 year old boy because of his wife. I went further in my enquiry, and your brother’s youngest child is how old I asked, she answered, “the boy is just five and his school fees is about 150k. My brother is doing it for his wife if not there are plenty cheep schools out there.”

I took another deep breath, so your brother’s wife has a driver I asked, "that one, she wants to be driving so that people will see that she has arrived".

Stray thoughts; in my mind, Nigerian men get sense die, they give you a car when you deserve an airplane. Your duty as a wife includes driving.

I added again, but she has a maid, she looked at me with anger and started counting at the tip of her finger, she has a microwave, deep freezer, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, gas cooker and my parents still use stove, my brother only buys the Kerosine.

Then I looked at her and asked, but why didn't you go beyond diploma and your brother has a masters degree? Once again her brother stopped paying her fees when he had his first child...

Knock Knock, Knock, My son rushed out from his room to open the door. 19 year old Kike, another neighbor’s daughter who is studying in the USA walked in. I quickly ask her how she is faring and how her parents are coping with the dollar exchange rate.

She gave my friend answers she has refused to see. I am responsible for my studies in the US, I work part time, and I school. The secondary school I attended is relatively expensive but it paid off...she added, I also do laundry, for rich student, remember mum never hired a maid and a driver so I grew up with a lifestyle that is now fetching me money while studying. I smiled at her and she walked to my son's room.

I looked at my friend, the only thing I could tell her is, "get out of my sight...” You brother was not born because of you. He has a family—is that hard to understand?