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DO YOU DISCUSS YOUR PAST AFFAIRS WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

By NBF News
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No doubt we all have our past. To some, their past is so bad that they dare not discuss it with others. There are also some whose past is not too bad. But the issue is that, no matter how good or bad your past life is, would you discuss it with your spouse?

Chika Chinyere
It depends on the story. I have told him some parts of my previous dates and he as well, told me of his. It is good to be open in case anything comes up. Even during my wedding, one of my old boyfriends came and I introduced him to my husband. To some it may sound absurd but to some it is good that your spouse knows your past because it will create room for trust and understanding.

I know that I know everything my spouse did as a bachelor and he in turn knows mine. So, there is nothing hidden from us and as such, no man or woman can come up tomorrow to tell me any rubbish about him. Of course, I would not believe it and the same applies to him because we communicate very well.

Dare Olagunju
Of course, I do discuss my past relationships with my woman. The reason I do that is that she would want to know if she is safe in my hands and if she is not stepping on anybody's toes. I do it also to prove my sincereity. Moreover, I would also want to know her story because I have been in a relationship where the boyfriend of the girl threatened me to leave her girl or he would kill me. As a result, I prefer to be open to my woman so that nobody will tell her trash about me and vise versa.

Mabel Nwaigwe
Is he not my husband? I discuss virtually everything with him and my past dates are not exclusive. It is good that I do that to avoid future occurrence and since the two have become one, there is need for us to be open to each other. We discuss that and it has helped to build our union. There is hardly anything he does that I do not know. With all boldness I can say today that I can predict my husband because we gave room for communication and it has brought us too close. It has also helped us to know our past and most importantly made us to trust each other. As it is today, no woman can tell me anything about my husband and I would believe because I know 90 per cent of his story. My husband is a radical and I will not because of that distrust him because he cares. So, whatever comes up, I should be able to defend him.

Akunezili Abigail
I dare not try it because he uses it to abuse me. We tried it in the past and it turned out to be the worst mistake I have ever made. It is not that he does not know my past but I can't talk about it personally. Any time we have disagreement, he would base it on the fact that it was my useless life that caused it. He would also call me a prostitute and whatever that comes into his mouth. He tells me his and I don't complain or bother but mine is an abomination. To me, it is good for couples to be open to each other and discuss their past lives because it will help them to trust each other but for me I do not have the opportunity of doing so.

Abazuonu Chinenye
Yes, we do discuss that. He started it first because when we got married, some of the girls he dated were coming to see the kind of woman he married. Because of their reactions, I asked who they were and he told me that they were his former girlfriends. I was not even borthered. I simply told him that if I were them, I would not come because if a man should leave me to marry another woman, why should I go to see the woman he married? But I noticed that any time I tell him about my past dates, he is never happy. I always notice some atom of jealousy. He doesn't feel good hearing such stories from me but all the same, it has made us to know and trust each other better.

Nchedo Agbako
Issues have not come up for us to discuss such but it is obvious to us that we have past relationships. I believe that discussing such is irrelevant. If any issue arises as a result of my past life, he should take it that it was what happened before he came into my life. The same applies to me. What should cause problem is what happens now that I am married. Moreover, even the Bible admonishes us not to dwell too much on the past. I am not interested in what happened in the past. Moreover, if a man marries a woman and he is the not the one that deflowered her, which past story does he want to hear? Is it not clear that she has known one or two men? I know some people discuss that but I do not.

Chioma Okpara
I do, because he will not be happy to hear it from someone else, even me too. So, it is better I tell him everything. He also told me of his past life even before we got married so that I will not be surprised to hear it from someone else that he lived a rough life in the past. I even think it is better for husband and wife to talk over their past affairs to avoid problems or being suspicious of each other. It is better for them to explain their past affairs to each other so that there will be trust among them. My husband knows everything about me. I never hide anything from him because an adage says that there is nothing hidden under the sun that the ear or eyes will not see one day. It is better to explain it before it is too late. I advise couples that are going into marriage newly, who love themselves to follow suit because love brings trust. Love can make you tell your husband the truth even if you killed somebody.

Tony Eke
People live different lives whether good or bad. I may disclose my past life to my wife and she would accept it that way, but there are some things that I may explain to her and it would cause disaster in the marriage. So, in order to avoid that, I will not tell her. We are different human beings and everything depends on our understanding. I don't see anything wrong in discussing my past or present life with my spouse

Laye Tebowei
Yes, there's nothing wrong in telling my spouse of my past affairs. It makes me a cleaner man. I think it is better to discuss such things with your spouse, because, I would want to know her past too. I say this because someone like me will take offence at hearing negative things about my spouse when I must have married her. It could affect that marriage. For me, there's nothing wrong in discussing your past. And I think it is a better way of also building a mutual trust that is needed in any good marriage. What if she was promiscuous. She could have had a child some where and hid it only for me to marry her and then discover later. For someone like me, it could be dangerous because I will throw her out.

Nmezi Chilavert
I don't discuss my past affairs with my spouse because it is not important to her.What matters to us is where we are now. The past belongs to history and the present belongs to us. Discussing it will try to draw attention that may not augur well with our relationship. I can only tell her why my past relationship ended so that she would learn from it. For me, it is better said at the early part of marriage.