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Sex And The Single Life

By Fabiyi Rotimi
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Good evening to everybody present here today, good evening to everybody that intend coming to this venue at this hour today but could not make it and good evening to all that in one way or the other made this occasion a reality. My name is Rotimi Fabiyi and I am standing in front of you to speak with you on the topic 'Sex and the Single Life'.

Every topic is made up of words and every word has its own meaning so it is imperative that I define the key words in this topic before proceeding beyond this juncture. The key words are, by my own observation and conclusion, 'Sex' and 'Single'.

Many people define sex mainly based on the physical emotional activity between a grown-up male and a grown-up female but this is clearly an error on their part. Sex definitions come in many ways and include heterosex which is sex between a grown-up male and a grown-up female, lesbianism which is sex between two females, onanism which is the derivation of pleasure from masturbation but not from coitus, sodomy which is sex between two males, pederasty which is sex between an adult male and an under-aged boy, pedophilia which is sex between an adult and an under-aged person of any gender, and bestiality which is sex between a human being and an animal. Others are voyeurism which is the derivation of sexual pleasure from watching other people having sex, scopophilia which is the derivation of pleasure from watching naked bodies of others, necrophilia which is the act of having sex with corpses (dead bodies), insanophilia which is the act of deriving pleasure from having sex with visibly insane persons, bisexualism which is sex with both males and females either consecutively or simultaneously, incest which is sex within members of the same family (e g father and daughter), neuter which is a term used to officially describe persons that have no sexual feelings whatsoever, anilingus which is the derivation of sexual pleasure from licking the anus of a sexual partner, scatophilia (or coprophilia) which is the derivation of sexual pleasure from eating little or much of a sexual partner's feaces, urophilia which is the derivation of sexual pleasure from drinking a sexual partner's urine and sadomasochism which is a term used to officially describe a sexual act in which the sexual partners deliberately inflict pain on themselves yet derive sexual pleasures from the pains.

As for the word 'single', the simplest definition is that it stands for someone that is a grown-up but not yet married.

In discussing the topic 'Sex and the Single Life', one has to take into consideration 2 diametrically-opposed (in terms of ideology) schools-of-thought. The 1st School-of-Thought is the one that authoritatively states that it is better for singles to abstain from any form of sexual encounter before marriage not only because of the risk of plausible sexually transmitted diseases and infections (e g HIV-1, HIV-2, HAV, HBV, HCV, HEV, HPV) due to the near impossibility of singles to maintain one sexual partners but mainly because of the high level of emotional feelings that would surely be involved. What this means is that many young boys and girls that become involved with sex at early age, or more appropriately, before marriage are likely to be emotionally derailed or detoured due to strong emotions required in a sexual relationship, usually (and factually) leading to their inability to cope at their studies in formal schools or understand what they are being taught in their informal vocational schools or be efficient at their semi-skilled jobs.

The 2nd School-of-Thought, on its own, maintains that it is better for singles to be actively involved in sex to an extent before marriage to enable them garner sexual experience they would eventually use to advantageous purpose with their spouses when they eventually marry. This 2nd School-of-Thought clearly believes that it is better to learn how to drive a metaphorical car before buying it to avoid unregistered drivers to join in the co-driving of the said car. Sexual experience counts a lot in marriages and this school-of-thought is of the opinion and subsequent conviction that a single must have this experience in real (not virtual) terms before marriage to avoid losing a marital partner to (or sharing a marital partner knowingly or unknowingly with) more sexually experienced fellows, an act which mostly leads to avoidable marriage dissolutions which promptly turns the married spouses to senior singles (or euphemistic divorcees).

From the aforestated facts, the 2 schools-of-thought have their own cogent (and factual) reasons for supporting or opposing sex amongst single (otherwise called premarital sex) but for the selfsame singles here in this auditorium with me today, the decision to pick a particular school-of-thought, the decision to avoid emotional breakdown that is usually in concomitance with premarital sexual relationships, the decision to avoid being a co-owner instead of being the sole owner of the metaphorical car, the decision to have a peaceful enduring, lengthy and truly happy marriage is in your hands.

Nobody can decide for you. The facts are clear, the decision is unarguably yours.

Engr, Rotimi Fabiyi (MNIM, MNSChE, MNSE,COREN Reg)
P.O Box 1709, Ikorodu, Lagos State, Nigeria
[email protected], [email protected]_rotimi
08129698326, 08184741410,08077434517, 08134541786