Classico

Classico: My variant of classical. Not poetry. Just bunch of lines (Raptry). Fully wrapped in a multi-user dungeon, Now relaxing in the air Who shall I fear? Elizabethan or contemporary? 5 Diluted documentaries Or pure documentaries? My penmatization Is far better than their fake dramatization. My penmatis personae 10 Is more action packed Than their dramatis pesonae. My inkhrenheit Can flash Drive Their wheels, 15 My ink drive My driver. Now my ink is turning me on I’m pensturbating At the top of the literary shrine 20 Menstruating my ink to the core Like an arrogant whore. Burning the Literary Shrine down With daily destructive criticisms 25 Home and abroad. I’m as rough as a breaking news But thanks to my beautiful muse Who is jailbreaking me out soonest. My poetic licence 30 Is in my vehicle; With it, I ‘bus the line’ Burst in a ball of poetic flames Hungry looking poets gazing at me As if its breakfast time. 35 No dinner these days Situations and circumstances Surrounding my wallet is far Too big, It is even bigger than Nigeria’s problem. 40 Trust me I’ve seen a lot meaner streets than the Ones you’re used to. Security men are here, 45 Come to my street, Goats mount every nook and cranny. I think I’m too insane My literary shrine rat shall maim Every evil spirit in human clothing. I was born November 22nd 50 Many years ago November the dry season! I was born in a dry season To reign on Earth. After my exile 55 Remember me as ‘words innovator’ Or the ‘words coinage master’. I know I may not be here too long But after my exit Many may not be able to eat for about a month 60 Countless will lose thousands of litres Of water in their eyes. Heads up Eyes closed, Preachers harvesting lies with the sickle 65 Of truth Ford-driving corruption with no passenger To talk with, while the journey Continues in an endless destination Of pain and regret 70 Carefully laced in the fine pot of deceit Taking the ark of the convenant From the Literary Shrine. Pen robbers Looting other writers’ lines 75 When no one is there To summon them for plagiarism. This is sensitive and highly classified. ‘I live in a world that does not play By critics’ rules!’ 80 He boasted. Stupidest Penlord to ever live He broke the line. My pen worth Falling out of the plane for. 85 Wounding words from my pen Murderous pen man Murderous sex man Are from same planet. The pain from my lines 90 Can cause cancer of the uterus And lead to death in pool of blood. Praise and ululation are not cousins. Hmm, my lines are flames that Will consume my rivals, 95 No drumming can drown my lyrics Because no matter the noise of the flies, The butcher must surely sharp the knife For his business. I do not think of umbrella 100 Before the rain threatens When I lead my goat I stay behind it. A man with short knickers Means he carries half thoughts. 105 I set my traps To catch spirits. I gave birth to my parents. I am that I am not. Traditionalism placed in the fine pot of modernity 110 That is me. The Rural-Urban Poet! That is what I go by No matter the foolish idea You are selling 115 I’m not buying. Some individuals are senselessly wise. Paying performers some honoraria Is my gospel. Animosity giving rise to betwitching 120 Pengicians who are dormants In this classico fight No victors, No victims. My warship 125 They now worship. Their transgressions Is now a deadly repercussion. Thanks for listening, my Dear. 130 And I mean it, I will deliver this lecture With no blood stains, No midwife’s help No auxiliary nurse assistance. 135 Give me only three minutes Let me make it rain From dusk till dawn With thunderous thunder and lightning Uprooting roofs 140 And rendering people homeless, with Refugee camps With no adequate care From the bad government. Real conflict is that between 145 Man and fate. Fake conflict is that between Man and himself. At this point in time I know I’m literarily drunk, 150 God, please, take the wheel No bully But I will bake you to satisfaction Hold the table and lets get in action Delay is Dangerous (D.I.D). 155 I’m in love with this government, Best government ever! Hunger catapulting individuals to their sepulchres Mass burials for military and bloody civilians who lost their lives in

the vineyard 160 Of serving their good land. No ransom whatsoever From anywhere. When shall we stand up to mister corruption When shall the positive change come 165 And possess the land? And mount the wheel of progress for us all Homeless beggars Begging for that single change. Change is change 170 He roars. The opposition concluded In a low key. Transformation the former ruling club sworn Time for the sword to display came 175 The opposition sweep the hall with malpractice Is this the change we clamour? Now you are the Boss of the Bosses What next? Building castles in the space 180 Painting the invisible portrait For poor masses to weep and groan In the agony of change. We don’t need that kind of negative change, We need a positive change. 185 The journey continues The project was a total disaster. They made me look like a complete fool. The show was absolute rubbish. A chemical reaction in me… 190 I might be completely unaware of my transgression

But that does not make me a righteous one. Handsome smile Does not make one a kind person. No one drinks palmwine 195 Same way with palmfuel. The Literary Shrine is helping me To rain down the ink; This time, the flow is as painful as A virgin’s monthly flow. 200 Now flowing faster than tide Waiting for no one like Mister TIME. Ink with a black DNA Deoxyribonucleic Acid Pushing me around to pick up people’s children

205 Like truck load of household appliances. I will keep monitoring you like a familiar spirit. Hey Trying not to lament Pastor at pulpit prophesying bunch of lies. 210 Witch Doctor claiming to know one’s tiles

Extremists misinterpreting scriptures. Lies everywhere No more ‘To whom it may concern’ As I’m about smashing this critic’s 215 Head against the publication rock God, please, have mercy Call me Messi Call me Mercy Johnson, sorry, Call me Johnson Mercy. 220 Daily literary gymnastic Over stressing the mental faculty Like a gym instructor Repeating commands like a computer Instructor Mounting the pen-pit 225 Like a pilot to his cork-pit I’m literarily fit. Android flow Always multitasking literary programmes. I am that I am not. 230 The arrogant you spat on my face The deflowered blood on my white lace Corruption is still your suit case The pride you showcase, May Chinua Achebe elongate your penhood 235 Longer than your very height. See the desperate power-seekers With empty promises. Building bridges were there is no water. The golden voice is here! 240 Chase your dreams And see them shoot into space. Butterfly and Bird are not cousins, Kite and grasshopper are not related. I’m so cold-hot 245 Even your oven Is afraid of my literary coven. Like a wizard confessing I’m full of inkful things to say. Keep eating 250 My pen I’m forking. Opposition wiping away incumbent, This is so Mouka and Vital than my blood. Like Pamlwine taper Wrapping his climbing rope all over himself, 255 Same way I’m dwelling at the Literary Shrine

Every time of the day. The war against drugs and cultism continues! Jibrin Idris’ Picture of Dorothy and Danladi Is even clearer than 3D. 260 This is the highest definition Of a true pengician Who possesses a brilliant pencraft That is more powerful and inkful Than any witchcraft ever. 265 Like a cobbler I urge us all to shine our eyes As a new voice ‘SIR A-ONE’ Sprout out of the shores of Africa. Soon, they will accuse me of *Usigho 270 I’m an *Ovigho In the making, They are just dirts I’m raking All thanks to God, my creative manufacturer 275 I keep driving as the true penufacturer. I am that I am not, I am the Classico. Weaving lines Daily is my occupation. © SIR A-ONE N.B: •Classico: Classical. SIR A-ONE's variant.

•Ovigho: An Urhobo word for wealthy man. •Usigho: Blood money. •Penufacturer: An Ink addict. A creative Icon.

•Mouka: A type of mattress/foam in Nigeria. •Palmfuel: An acidic palm wine. An almost soured one that can cause

pain than gain to the body system. •Pengician: An established writer, humourist and artiste. Coined by SIR A-ONE.

•Penstruating: Bleeding of the ink upon papers creatively.

•Inkhrenheit: The measurement of one’s creativity literarily. Coined

by SIR A-ONE. •Penmatization: Casting your creative personae in a work of

creativity . Coined by SIR A-ONE. Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a Nigerian

pengician, researcher and rapper. The CEO of http://www.pengician.com

A very controversial icon anytime, any day.