I'm Giving My Children the Fatherhood I Didn't Have – Deyemi Okanlawon

Nollywood actor Deyemi Okanlawon has opened up about his journey through marriage and fatherhood, sharing how his experiences have shaped his approach to family life.

He described marriage as a school where men truly learn what it means to be a man.

The actor advised that instead of searching for a spouse, one should focus on becoming the best version of themselves, as this attracts the right kind of partner. He also noted that if someone keeps attracting the wrong people, the problem may be internal rather than external.

On fatherhood, Okanlawon revealed that his first son is nearly 10 years old, and he is focused on giving his children the emotional connection he missed growing up.

He admitted that he rarely hugged his father or heard words of affirmation as a child, but he is intentional about creating a different experience for his own children. While acknowledging that his father did his best with what he knew at the time, the Yoruba actor revealed that he is committed to breaking that cycle.

He said: "Marriage is a school; it is where you learn about truly being a man. If you think as a single person, you think you know how things are, then wait until you get married."

"You don't go out seeking a spouse; you go out seeking the best version of yourself. When you work on being the best version of yourself, you attract that version of yourself, and this works for both men and women."

"If you find out that you are attracting the wrong kind of people, don't think that the dating pool is where the problem is; the problem is likely on the inside."

"My first son is about to be 10 years old and he is the first of three. Being a father of boys is the most extraordinary thing."

"For me, the primary thing I discovered as a father is that I really wanted to give my children the kind of fatherhood that I didn't get. I don't remember hugging my father many times. I don't remember saying 'I love you' or hearing it back."

"This is not taking anything away from my father. He did what he knew how to do at the time he did it. We can't go back to judge the world because of the way it was in the past, but we can only say that didn't happen to me, but I wanted it, and I can have it with my children."