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Payback Time To Prominent Black Men Some Black Ladies Lost

By Farouk Martins Aresa

What is the difference between African and African American women in Diaspora? After a while, not much. If the same proportion of white women call police on their husbands and accuse their men of sexual harassment, there would be shallow depth of powerful or rich white men as there are of black men now. African men in Diaspora, from those there before or after Columbus, can be easily kicked out of their homes and positions by women.

African men new in Diaspora found this out the hard way. The same ones that complain of lack of enabling environment at home in Africa, do succeed in a worse environment against all odds faced by most blacks. Some of them even have the nerve to blame the African Americans or African Europeans they met there for being lazy and not struggling hard enough. Whereas, they were just waiting for manna from heaven when they themselves were in Africa.

Once African or African American men change the environment, most succeed against all odds. Therefore, no matter how we look at it, black men and women work very hard to succeed in the Diaspora. When you see a successful black man there, think about how he succeeds despite all the odds against him. Even then, it is harder for them to stay on top since they have to be holier than thou. This is the reason successful black men have to watch their conduct, especially in a community that is easier to fault them for anything that would not stick on others.

However, it cannot be disputed that many men generally still see women for their looks, shapes and vulnerability. Yet, black men in high or prominent positions, are more of a potential target for sexual assault or harassment allegations. Both white and black men abuse women but not often do you find black women accusing white men of sexual assault or harassment. The consequences could be damaging and could backfire, big time against them.

If you remember Tawana Glenda Brawley that alleged four white men raped her in 1987 and Crystal Mangum the North Carolina Central College student who was hired to strip for the Duke Lacrosse players alleging rape at the party in 2006. Both cases could not be proven in court. Even Professor Anita Hill famous allegation against Clarence Thomas during nomination to Supreme Court by his conservative mentors, fell short like that of Brett Kavanaugh.

If you want a sacrifice for the overbearing crime of men against women, choose very carefully, preferably a black man. Allegation against white men supported by most white women are hard to stick since ancient time. See Thomas Jefferson is the R. Kelly of the American Enlightenment by Lisa Woolfork an associate professor of English at the University of Virginia. In 1802 a writer, James Callender failed to discredit Jefferson with his African teenage sex slave, Sally Hemings.

All women still face daunting task for complaining about sexual assault, especially black women if their harassers are white men. Vestiges of slavery still persist. Indeed, “Nearly 30 years after Jefferson’s death, the Missouri Supreme Court would rule that enslaved black women, as property, must legally submit to sexual assault by their masters.” Yep, you read it right!

No black community would defend, support or encourage abusive black man. If anything, Africans communities at home or in Diaspora are harder on abusers than others. Check out the prominent black men brought into disrepute by black women. Some involved relationships that slipped away. From Justice Clarence Thomas to the Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, black women are paying back or pulling them down riding on the Me Too Movement.

Black women, like most women want decent successful black men like themselves to have a solid relationship with. When we deal with folks that have gone through similar stages in life, it is easier to relate and communicate. Indeed, many black ladies compromise and marry down to black men not as educated or as successful as they are. They understand the situation of black men in their communities. Sometimes more so than young successful African ladies in Africa.

However, there are not enough successful black men to pair with the number of successful black ladies in Diaspora. The competition to get a successful black man can be tough since black men have choices not only with African American ladies but choice with other races. Black folks do not mind if a poor black is married to other race but it burns when you see a successful black man or woman married to other races. Just like Asian ladies, to the displeasure of white young women, are taking to white men too. It is like: that one should have been mine!

These days, African women face competition at home and abroad for decent African men. One should be able to find a suitable black woman to marry anywhere. If you cannot find one in Europe and Americas, there are many in Africa or the Caribbean where “Stella Got Her Groove”. Some Africans used to return home to marry but they are more cautious these days. The incentive to come back home and marry is no longer there, it has gone sour.

Indeed, you are told that if you could not find an African woman you like in your community where you are in Africa or Diaspora, be ready for trouble. There are ladies African men would never marry at home but that stand a good chance of marrying Africans returning home for a partner. Accusation fly back and forth about broke-ass men and “yesterday’s newspapers” only men from Diaspora would marry.

As soon as African ladies are brought to Europe and Americas, it does not take long for them to adapt to their new found “freedom” claiming rights worse than their counterparts in Europe and America. There was a party where everyone was asked to serve themselves. While most people got up to do so; before African husbands got up, their wives brought them food. This African lady that came to her first party in America, insisted that her new husband must get up and serve himself. It was the first sign and not surprising that the marriage did not last.

We could see a fragile relationship coming. Before you know it, they would be telling the stories of women that kicked their husbands out of his house or the ones the father-in-law ordered the husband to look at his house for the last time; because he would not come back. Some would slap the husband daring him to hit her. The next act would be calling police on the husband. We all know Police and black men do not mix in America because it could be deadly.

Unfortunately, it is their children that suffer. Any home without a father is a broken home unless there is a woman that has what it takes to be a man and a woman at the same time. It gets worse because most of these women have to work to support their home. Once the man is kicked out, it become difficult to pay mortgage, rent and other bills without working overtime or two jobs to support the family.

Consequently, children are left at home to raise themselves. Raising children with two parents in the home is hard enough, it should never fall on the shoulder of one parent. It is not an accident that white women understand the respect white men deserve in their communities. Most of their men earn enough to support the family and it gives their wives the choice to stay at home or work outside home. If both parents are working, it gives them the leverage to hire babysitter, send children to private schools and with more discretionary income to blow.

As a result, most white women are fiercely loyal to their boys, men or husbands and are willing to protect him at any cost than are black women. They are more willing to defend their husbands and sons in the face of accusation of sexual or criminal abuse allegations. It is ironic that the social workers, teachers and counselors that black women depend on, that encourage them to report black men; hardly report their own husbands.

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Adegbie Moyin | 2/19/2019 2:40:00 PM
I'm Nigerian it's sad. As a guy this post is true. I respect women and don't back aggressive men at harassing women of any race or ethnicity. If some white people don't like us atleast we should like ourselves as blacls
FACT IS A FACT NO MATTER WHOEVER RELATES IT.
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