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LAUTECH SRC: …AND THE SPEAKER FLED FROM EVIL.

It is an undeniable fact that the collectors of the shekel dues have no power to use the shekels collected without the unanimous 'aye' of the supposed House of Lords. And in the House of Lords; the lords, they that have the ultimate power to checkmate they that had rake millions of shekels from the tax of the temporal inhabitants of this homestead, came together to perform their duties, as it is written in their book of law: “thou shall perform tangential executive and judicial functions; such as ratification of International Treaties and Appointment of The chief Justice (CJ), Transport Management Chief (TMC), and Budget and Finances officials (B&F)”.

And it came to pass, the House of Lords had followed the directions given them in the book of the law and therefore came together for a sitting; the sitting was going on peacefully until the news reached the haramites- they that were against the sitting of the house of lords. They were furious and very indignant at the lords; and they struck, took off the light in the house, and the lords were helpless for they have burnt off all the candles in their coffin. The lords could not see each other, for the cloud of thick darkness was upon them, which cloud was all light to the haramites. There also came down the rain which never showed any sign in the sky. They (haramites) used their mystic power to prevent the lords from performing their duties, disrupted the peace in the house and threw it into disarray; an unusual occurrence which left the lords agape.

As the house was in confusive state, the lords lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the head of the house had fled for his life, leaving them behind and the symbol of power in the hands of the haramites. And there was a ray of light from the door side into the house, the lords saw the robe of the head of the house far-off and they shouted on top of their voices and said: “great lord, great lord, where thou runneth go? Hast thou called this sitting only to make us suffer? How will thou leaveth us in this darkness for us to be smitten with rod by this wicked haramites? How wicked and heartless art thou?

They received no reply for he (great lord) fled at the sprint-speed of hertz. For the emperor of his brotherhood had instructed: “Flee from any form of evil that thou think might befall thee inside the house today, and dwell in a safer place, 'cos your enemy plan no good for you, as revealed to me by our great Shakula”. So the great lord hearkened to the voice of his emperor, and did that he had said. And he took to his heels, escaped for a safe place. He gladly listened to the instruction of his emperor, and adopted his plan as a wise arrangement.

The lords were left inside the house to their fate and outside the house were the gate keepers. They were sore afraid. They waited awhile to decide what course they had better pursue. They were disappointed and enraged, as the haramites were in control. And they cried out unto the gatekeepers for help; then came the gatekeepers to rescue them. And house scribe said unto the lords, "Fear ye not, stand-still, and see the rescue of the gatekeepers". At the time, the lords were all ready for their way out and waiting for the house scribe to bid them go. "Let's honourably march out from this darkness which the haramites had brought upon us", the scribe instructed. And they did according to the word of the house scribe. They called the sitting quit and that was the end of the business of the day. And the haramites mocked the lords as they rejoiced in their camp and said unto Shakaus, their god: "Bless the great rage of Shakaus, we rejoice for this victory; you have dealt bountifully with them, for their sitting was no success”.

But, behold, in the next sitting of the house, the great lord shall be welcomed, received with pomp and pageantry, and honoured, for the unusual historical achievement he recorded; he's the fastest sprinter and the wisest man this homestead will ever produce. And the lords shall bow before him, while the house scribe shall announce: “Behold, the head of this house has discovered another God-given talent, which had been hidden in him for time past, let you all worship him, for he shall soon beat the world's fastest man in his game and even no engine made by man shall meet his match in sprinting". He is he that runneth for cover at the speed of hertz while the house and the people he mans burneth. “Behold also the wisest man on earth, he that leaveth his flock for the cursed haramites to terrorize and runneth for cover, and dwell in a safer place, taking to the instruction of the emperor of his brotherhood.”

Thus, verily verily I say unto you, let no one that is born of woman castigate the shepherd that leaveth his flocks in the face of death and flee for his dearest life; for he that runneth away from the battle ground will still live to fight and win the battle. Again, bethren and sistren, verily verily I say unto you, let no one of you castigate the great lord because of his action, for who among you can withstand the mystical power of the haramites- they that turned daylight into darkness, made the rain to fall, and threw our great house of lords into confusion? Who are thou that can stand before these giants- the haramites???

Oluwatomilola Boyinde, TOMINIGERIA, P.R.O, Union of Campus Journalists, AND, All-Nigerian United Nations Students & Youth Association, LAUTECH. [email protected], @TomiNigeria, 08032434218, 2AF2EB9D.


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Articles by Oluwatomilola Boyinde

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