You are your words
One of the romantic moments in a relationship is for lovers to find time to talk. You share your hopes, aspirations, fears, visions and dreams. You ask questions, seek clarification, apologise and assure each other of your love. You share your heart desires and deepest feelings to show you are one flesh.
Importance of words
Appreciate that words are powerful because they have psychic energy. God created us by words. Satan deceived us by words. Jesus came down to save us as word.
Your words can excite or depress your lover. They can bring love or hatred. They, therefore, have the power of life or death to your relationship.
Negative words like "you are hopeless", "I hate you", "you will suffer for this", "my ex was better" and "I should have listened to my parents" are hard to process in the brain. They get internalised and grow bigger to harm emotionally and physically.
Recently, a couple was quarrelling in public. The woman said that if the husband was really a man, he should show it in bed. The man left quietly and hanged himself.
The few words totally destroyed his very being. This is the power of negative words.
Positive words like "I love you," "thank you", "please, "you are everything to me", "I believe in you," generally warm in your lover who in turn will react more kindly to you. Kind words make you better.
A man took his wife to her parents for divorce. At the meeting, the woman knelt down, held the man's feet, wept and apologized. She added she couldn't live without him. The man was touched and forgave her. Your kind words will melt the' hardest of hearts.
Men and women
Women love words. Sometimes, women organise their thoughts externally. They find great fulfilment in talking to nurture their female spirit.
Words also get greatly magnified in a woman's mind. Many men, therefore, hurt their women far more than they think.
A woman must also talk three times more than a man. A man who prevents his woman from talking could depress her greatly.
Men on the other hand have moments of distance and closeness. No matter how much he loves his woman, there are times he closes in only to open up later. A woman must be patient with her man.
Before you talk
Know and love yourself. You are your words. Earn respect-with your words. You are dirty if you speak dirty words to your lover because out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
Know the likes and dislikes of your lover and avoid saying what he hates. Partners must also choose the right time to talk. Serious issues could be discussed in the morning when our senses are most alert.
Have a clear picture of your message.
Guard your message by translating it into what can be sent to give meaning. Put enthusiasm into your voice. Let your words be concise (keep to business at hand), complete (give all the needed information), cohesive (show progress), clear (message must be logical) and courteous (thoughtful and considerate). They must be relevant to your lover and appropriate to the situation.
Season your words for your lover with your lover's greatest need. A man needs respect so it is necessary to start with "please", "me wura" or "my lord".
A woman needs affection so start with "honey" or "sweetheart".
Keep talking to your lover
Talking is the substance of a loving relationship. You must, therefore, keep talking to your lover. It helps you to exchange your feelings, to share information, to learn more about yourself and build each other. Always remember that your woman needs to talk. Engage her in a talk time for her to grow her intimacy with you.
Your relationship is the best place to express yourself freely and completely control your words, and never allow your words to control you even in anger.
Solomon said if you want a happy life, you must control your words. Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth. The health of your marriage is a reflection of your words. This means with your tongue, you can build or destroy your marriage. Let the words of your mouth be acceptable to your lover and maker.
Credit: John Boakye [E-mail - [email protected]]