Say not to single life - John Boakye
Life today is difficult everywhere. The twists and turns in marriage have made many to see marriage as a no-go area. Single life appears an option to the challenges of life.
Single life is on the increase everywhere and across social groups. In fact, globally, the proportion of those living single lives has doubled over the last 20 years. This is particularly worrying in Ghana where marriage is seen as a sacred duty and the focus of life.
Why single life?
Many are single due to circumstances beyond their control. The cost of living is high and many cannot afford marriage rites, accommodation and family care. Some are single out of convenience. They put careers and other things ahead of marriage. For them, all that matters is cash.
Some have gone through painful relationships and become afraid of future failures. Some are selfish. They have worked for their money and would not allow anyone to share or possibly take over what they have earned.
Some have inborn problems. They are trapped in the wrong bodies and seek love from people of the same sex. Others have emotional problems that make it hard for them to desire sex or relate to the opposite sex.
Some claim they don't meet suitable lovers. They are selective and draw tough conditions for suitable partners. They simply have a poor understanding of marriage.
Why single life appears good
You have freedom and independence. You need not make mutual, decisions or put up with behaviours you find unacceptable. You can, therefore, stabilise your emotions.
You have the chance to utilise your talents and skills fully. This may explain why most women who are very successful are single.
Today, people claim they can get sex, children, domestic care, financial support and everything marriage offers without marrying. If they can get free milk, they will not buy a cow and worry about its maintenance.
Why single life is bad
Single life has loneliness. In fact, the only thing God said was not good in His creation was loneliness. It is, therefore, not good for man to be alone.
There are things only a man can do best and there are some things a woman can do best. A man is expected to use his abilities to cover a woman and a woman to cover a man for enhanced quality of life. Completeness and self-sufficiency will, therefore, always remain a myth.
Single life lacks emotional support. The thought that you are one flesh with another gives great mental stability. On the other hand, single life reduces commitment and makes you self-centred.
Single life gives a bad social image. In Ghana every adult is expected to marry and those who don't are seen as irresponsible and not worthy of social recognition.
Sugya ni", the Akan phrase for a bachelor, means a man who fetches fire for cooking. Cooking is traditionally reserved for women and "Sugya ni" does not earn much respect.
What to do
If you're single, desire to marry. Nothing will come to you except what you put in your mind. Fortunately, there has never been a lack of relationships and studies show that people can find partners easier than they think.
Love yourself and have self confidence. Go out very often and do everything with passion. Love all who come to you and smile to let people know you are easy to get along. Don't cling to yourself or act desperate. Don't look for love. Love will find you as you live your life in full.
If you're married, make every effort to stay married. Remember that every marriage has its moments of difficulties. The fact that you have problems does not mean there is something wrong with your marriage. You are only being human. Angels don't marry; it is, therefore, impossible to have a trouble-free marriage. You only need to keep working on your marriage to make it work. Never make divorce an option. It has never been a solution but a problem. Every marriage can be restored.
Single life can never be fashionable. Human beings were made for relationships. God has made marriage a permanent feature of all human society because of its amazing benefits. Married couples are emotionally and physically healthier. They live longer and have higher levels of happiness. Married couples have greater wealth because sharing creates wealth.
It's God's desire that you marry, except when you dedicate yourself in a special way to serve God and humanity. Never stay out of marriage out of resentment, fear, selfishness and inordinate ambition. A man will always need a woman. A woman will always need a man. Two are always better than one. God says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favour from Him.
God says it is not good to be alone. Believe Him. So say no to single life. It is only marriage that will give true love, stronger family and a happy nation.
Author: John Boakye
Source: The Mirror