Pursuing perfection

Perhaps you've heard of 'The Perfect 10'... A woman so stunningly beautiful that guys literally throw themselves at her feet. A woman so amazing, so breathtaking that she can have any man she wants, anytime she wants... and she knows it.

She lives in her own special little world, a world most of us can't even imagine. Everything is good there, everything is easy. She gets anything she wants. She rarely has to pay for anything because people are always giving her things, buying her things, bringing her presents. She gets special treatment in restaurants, bars, stores, and every other place she goes.

Everyone loves her. Every guy wants her. And every girl wants to be her. After all, she is 'The Perfect 10'.

Well, my fellow Don Juans, let me assure you, that despite what you may have read or heard, there is no such thing as 'The Perfect 10!' She does not exist. Not one woman on this huge planet of ours even comes close.

In fact, you would be hard-pressed to find a lady who qualifies as an 'Almost Perfect 9'.

But, I hear you thinking: "They do exist. I see them all the time. In fact, I saw a Perfect 10 earlier today." True. You do see 9s and 10s frequently. So do I. But the thing you have to remember is that one's perception of physical beauty is completely subjective. It varies tremendously from person to person. There are no objective standards for female beauty that every guy subscribes to.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
An urban myth
Yet, the myth of 'The Perfect 10' — that absolutely stunning woman that no man can resist — is very prevalent these days. False, but prevalent. Where does this myth originate? Why do we believe in it?

The sad fact is that everyone tends to view the world in a very egocentric fashion. We believe that what we see, others also see. What we perceive as attractive, beautiful, and stunning, others also perceive the same way. We believe, quite incorrectly, that the women who take our breath away, also take the breath of every other guy on the planet.

It's a ridiculous belief. An unfounded myth. And it's rather easy to shatter.

Try an experiment. Take four or five of your buddies out to a crowded bar: one that is always packed with beautiful women. Find yourselves a table and try to identify one woman in the entire bar that everyone agrees is a perfect 10.

You'll fail miserably! In fact, I doubt you'll be able to find a lady in the entire bar that even half your buddies think is a 10. You probably won't even be able to find a lady that everyone agrees is an 8 or 9.

You will be amazed, no stunned, at the women your buddies feel are 'perfect', and they'll be equally stuned at you. Your, their, and our perceptions of beauty are just too subjective, too skewed by our past experiences and interactions, for everyone, or even a large percentage of guys, to even come close to agreeing.

Tried and tested
Try the experiment with Hollywood stars. Do you think Pamela Anderson is a 10? On my particular scale of physical beauty, she's about an 8. How about Cindy Crawford? Is she your dream woman? I'd give her a 7. Carmen Electra? She's about a 6.5 in my book. Jennifer Lopez? Maybe an 8.

In fact, if you and I were sitting in a bar together and your dream woman — a Sarah Michelle Geller lookalike — walked in, you wouldn't have much competition from me. In fact, you wouldn't have any competition from me. I'd be too busy checking out the shorter, curvier, brunette over by the bar.

Do you like the tall, thin, professional-model type? I'm not attracted to them at all, and they'd certainly get no special treatment from me. In my book they're just ordinary women and would be treated as ordinary women. And I certainly wouldn't fall all over myself trying to impress them.

The myth of The Perfect 10, and your belief in this myth, is handicapping you and limiting your social effectiveness. However, if you remember that the perception of a woman's physical beauty is completely subjective, and one guy's 10 is invariably another guy's 6, you will have a distinct advantage in dealing with women:

You will approach and pursue the women you really want. You won't feel the need to limit yourself to the ones that are "in your league".

You will display more confidence. You won't be as nervous when dealing with your 10. You will understand that she is not every guy's version of a 10, and you will feel less pressure as you're not in competition with every other guy on the planet.

ou will be able to focus on the fact that it's your job to evaluate her, to see if she's good enough for you, not the other way around. You will stand up for yourself, demand respect, and clearly communicate the fact that you are special and she should be trying to impress you.

You will actually be happier when with your Perfect 10. It seems to be more satisfying to find someone who is perfect for you, than it is to find someone who is just flat-out perfect.

So, my fellow Don Juans, pursue your dream women. Pursue them with passion, confidence, knowledge, and style. And who knows. This world's wacky enough that you just might wind up being her version of 'The Perfect 10'.