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Change Your Post-Breakup Thinking!

By ghanamma

Even if you can't see it right away, there are some good things that can come of having your heart ripped out, stomped on, and discarded by the one you adore. It's all a matter of perception.

Let us show you.
Old Thinking: I'm so alone!
New Thinking: The remote is mine, all mine!
All relationships - even the great ones - require both parties to rein in a little bit of their personalities for the sake of compromise. You've probably missed that part of yourself. You know, being the person who could leave the dishes piled in the sink for three days, or could watch pointless television without apology. So reintroduce yourself to you, and enjoy the single-life freedom of doing whatever you like, whenever you want, with no explanations to anyone. Pancakes in bed at 3 a.m., anyone?

Old Thinking: I don't have a standing date on the weekends now.

New Thinking: Well, there's that ballroom dancing class, then a gallery opening...

Chances are you have at least a few interests that you didn't share with your ex. Now's the time to enjoy them. Enlist yourself in all the yoga classes, guitar lessons, and independent film showings your heart desires. If too many of your hobbies still hold painful memories, now's a great time to try something new.

Old Thinking: I miss having a partner.
New Thinking: Thank God I have my friends.
Remember those people you used to hang out with before you spent every Friday night on a date and every Sunday morning sharing breakfast with your beloved? If you've lost touch with some of your closest pals while you were off in a love haze, make a point to get together for some much-needed bonding time. When you're ready, these will be the people who'll make sure you have one stellar debut as a newly-minted singleton.

Old Thinking: I feel so broken.
New Thinking: It's a great time for self-improvement.

Having all the pieces of your life fall apart gives you a great opportunity to put those pieces back exactly where you want them. Take a little self-inventory. Think about what you've learned and want to keep - the appreciation for jazz you learned from your ex, that incredible new sexual position you both found one night. Take note of what you can take with you into your next relationship. Because there will be one.

Old Thinking: No one will ever love me like that again.

New Thinking: I get to fall in love all over again.

It's true no one will love you in the exact same way your ex did. But that also leaves open the possibility that someone new will come along, sweep you off your feet, and love qualities about you that you didn't even realize you had. And while your coupled-up friends wouldn't admit it, they're all secretly envious that you get to go back and re-experience the rush of falling in love again.

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