Confesses: I dated other men while dating my hubby------Omotola Ekeinde
In this interview Hollywood actress and mother of four Omotala Jolade Ekeinde aka Omosexy talks about how she got into acting, her husband and what has kept her marriage going. Omotola Jolade Ekeinde in her own words.
I am the first child of three children and the only daughter. I was born in Lagos. My father is from Ondo State My mother is from Abeokuta in Ogun State. My father's name is Sola Jolade he used to be the manager for Lagos Country Club Ikeja. My mum was a business woman. My father died in 1991, I was in secondary school when he died. My mum died 10 years after in 2001. I attended Chrisland Primary School Opebi, Command Secondary School Kaduna and did one year in Oxford School Santos Layout. I had a stint at Obafemi Awolowo University ile-Ife, I later got admission into Yaba College Of Technology to read Estate Management. My acting career had already taken off before I got into Yaba Tech just to fufill all righteousness.
I was a troublesome child. I was the only child of my parents for a long time so I was a bit over-pampered. So when I act a bit spoilt it's not because I am an actor. I actually grew up like that. I was my daddy's pet because I was the only girl. I went to a military school and I was really rough-handled because I was a little thwart. I was very popular in school. I was not a sporty person. I was very lazy. I loved to dance and mime. While in secondary school my friends and I formed a group. We were three in the group and after school you will find us singing and dancing on the road. I could mime to any popular song back then and singing on the road got me a lot of lifts. We used to demonstrate on the road as if we were on stage taking turns to mime to songs. It was really fun. We just assumed we were superstars and everybody on the road came to watch us perform on stage
My mum had a lot of influence on me. She was very strict on me. And I was spoiled rotten by my dad. I was virtually living in Lagos Country Club. From school I went straight to the club. I stayed with my father in the club. I never liked going back home after school because of my mum. My mum used to beat me. My father had no qualms about me staying with him at the Club. But then I was not even with him. I was always on my own having fun, swimming, meeting people. It was at the club that I met movers and shakers. As little as I was I already had a mind of my own. I wanted to do things my own way. My mother used to beat me, punch me out, sit on me just to break me. She did a lot of things to me that she wouldn't think of doing to a child. That kind of thing terrified me. We never got along I used to question if she really was my mum. We were like cat and dog. I did everything I could do to avoid her problems.
I started acting as soon as I left secondary school while awaiting my JAMB results. Even while I was in Ife reading Economics my acting career had started. I left Ife in my first year because I was getting married and my husband felt it was too far. So I had to get a school in Lagos. I got in to Yaba Tech in 1996 and I got married that same year. I decided to read Estate Management, because I realized that I didn't like Economics while I was in Ife..
My modeling career started before my acting career. I started when I left secondary school. I had modeled for two years before my acting career. I did mostly calendar jobs. One day while waiting for the casting for a modeling job to start. One of the girls that came for the casting asked if I would like to come with her to an audition she was going for. The casting was taking too long to start so I decided to go with her. She didn't get the role she auditioned for but she encouraged me to audition for a role I did and I got the part.
The audition was for Nneka. The part was a lead mermaid role. When I told my mum about it, she said the part was not right for me. Because she believed if I played the role I would be disturbed by evil spirit. My mother was very superstitious. So I didn't play the role. But that already aroused my interest in acting. So the next audition I heard about I went for it. It was for a movie titled “The Testament” It was a Swift Studio production. I got the lead role Tunde Obe was supposed to be my lead man. I was 16 years old then it was in 1995. And my mum refused to let me act in the movie because she said there was too much kissing and romancing. She said I would be ostrized from church if I played a role like that. My mother was a member of the Christ Apostolic Church. This is a church I didn't actually used to go to. Which was weird, my mum was a very strict Egba woman.
So I had to say bye to that role too. The first movie I did in 1995 'Venom Of justice' the director Reginald Ebere had to go talk to my mum. In those days for you to get me to play a role in your movie my mum had to approve of the role and you. From Kingsley Ogoro to Zeb Ejiiro. Zeb even suffered the most because he became like my godfather. Zeb always had to talk to my mum on behalf of other producers and directors that I had to work with. In those days unlike now you can't do one movie and become a star, Back then people were not paying attention. Your name must have gone round the industry before you will now probably be known in the outside world. I was popular with producers before I could be showcased for the outside world. A lot of protocol then unlike now.
Initially when I started acting there was no pressure. Unlike now, when I am called for a job producers and directors have so much expectations because I have done a lot of work for other people.
On sex for role
There were no challenges back then for me. I try not to do more than I can. I wasn't really desperate to be an actor. I never got sexualy harassed or anything like that. Most of the roles I got then were lead roles and it wasn't like I struggled to get them. I have never had a sex for role offer. First and foremost I think I deserve all I got. I think that happen most of the time when u don't deserve it. And they tell you they want to give it to you. When I hear that I just walk away. I won't let any one dampen my spirit by telling me I am not good enough for something, A lot of actresses reek of desperation that is why they fall a victim. Somebody dirty is going to take advantage of you.
On her mariage
I got married at 18. I don't know why some people find that strange. For him it has nothing to do with age. In fact he waited for me to be 18, age of consent to marry me. I was 16 when he met me and he was 26. He was working with Harry Akande then and was stationed in Bahamas. My mum felt I was getting married too early he wanted us to wait. We did the court wedding in 1996 and the traditional in 2001 after we had had three kids. My mum was at the registry, She was a signatory. I met him in 1994 I had not started acting then but I was already a model. I have always been a very mature person. When I was 14 I looked 18 when I was 15 a lot of people thought I was in my 20's. I lost my father early so I had to grow up fast. I am not so sure I think I was 12 or `13 years old when I lost my dad.
On dating other men
Yes I had dated other men before I met my husband. And I still dated other men while with him and he never stopped me from dating them. We had a very comfortable relationship and no pressure from anywhere.
On her husband
My husband had no problem about my career and would never. Is whatever makes me happy. He supports me a lot. I went back to set after my first child was just one month old, I was on the set of “Day Break”. He goes to the market. I don't and he doesn't mind doing that. He is my number one fan. He watches my movies like a critic. The only scene he is not enthusiastic about is the romantic scenes. But I got to do what I have to do.
On what keeps her marriage going
It's God. For me when I met him it wasn't love at first sight. But he said it was love for him. But even then before we got married he told me he prayed about it. According to him he had to submit the names of the girls he was dating then to pastors so they could pray about it to know who is the right girl for him. We are not interested in friends We don't have friends that influence our lives. We don't make it a must to hang out with friends. I don't discus him with friends and the same applies to him. He does not discuss me with anybody even his parent to the best of my knowledge.
On bad publicity
First and foremost my husband does not read junk. He is a pilot he is like a bird always flying. I don't think anybody will be so dumb to show my husband a bad publication about me. We don't dwell on such things. When the pictures of the role that I played in the movie 'The Prostitutes' was published. It was one of those make or break times in my career. We talked about it. The talk was actually for me because I was upset and depressed about it. And he was the one that did the consoling. The pictures were splashed in the papers as if I did that scene in the movie. The scandal did not affect us.
There are so many things I had told him about me. Any body writing about it is like behind schedule. And you don't even have a clue.
On love advances
I have never dated anybody in the industry. I do get love advances and I just enjoy it, I am a girl. I don't have to be people's enemies because I am married. Most of these men end up being friends with me. People will always say whatever they want to say If you know that a guy wanted to date me and suddenly we are friends and that means we are going out. That is your problem. If you think we are dating Yes we are, eat your heart out. Yes I do flirt for a while, every girl flirts. I let you know you are just a toy just an amusing thing. I might just enjoy taking your calls but the minute I am irritated I just stop taking your calls.
Oh yes totally I am living my dreams. I am a very happy person. I get shocked when people say I am a snub. I understand that I could be a bitch. But then I could be the most lovely person you ever met. I am a very complex person. I have multiple personalities and I don't know when any of those personalities will raise it's head. It depends on what is thrown at me. So anybody who says I was nice to her and she was bitch right back at me, that person is a liar and will rut in hell.
Her defifinition of love
Love is deeper than a feeling. If I had that feeling I wouldn't probably be married to the person I am married to. All those feelings that gets your adrenalin pumping is not love. It is lust. That comes with the rush and goes with the rush. And when you go and marry with that kind of adrenalin it is risky. Love is tolerant, friendly, caring, devoted and most of all selfless.
There is no way you can love and be selfish. Being in love is different from love. You can be in love and don't love the person. And when you love genuinely if you both go your separate ways there would be no fight you stil be friends And don't be afraid to be kinky with your wife. And don't be holy holy if you are your husband is gone. Be kinky holy. Keep it exciting and romantic.