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STYLE BANDITOS

By NBF News
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Very bush…
Did you actually wear
your straps as sleeves? What really made it disturbing was that you move your stuff wearing something illegal. Haven't you heard of strapless solutions? We were even told it's everywhere at Alaba market, so you have no excuse whatsoever. You are hereby placed on Temporary Restrained Order (TRO)from any

social function
and pay
N750, 000.
Bra felon
A recent survey conducted on bra felony shows that the crime had reduced by 12.5% in the south, but we are surprised you were caught in that zone flaunting your straps in public . Section 234 of the Bra Acts states 'a bra is an undergarment designed to support and shape a woman's breast and should not be visible'. Your conduct is punishable under section122 of the 1990 constitution. You have been ordered to report at Ikorodu police station where you will be mandated to fetch at least 10 buckets of water for the next 40 days to help curb the flood in that area.





Cross of sin
We were confused when you were brought in here because everything about you just screams attention.My male jury didn't know whether they should fix their eyes on the huge pendant or what lies beneath the pendant. We need not be told that you might just be the perfect missing link between Cossy and Mariah Carey. You know all what you've got in common? You're all endowed. For exposing our teenage sons to this porn display you are fined

N1million.


Pants down
We were short of words when you walked into the witness box , because we actually thought you forgot your pants at home. In fact my jury concluded that a cross examination wasn't necessary but your lawyer objected. However with all authority vested in this court, I hereby overrule his objection. You're hereby ordered to report at Ajegunle community primary school where you would be mandated to

take classes on moral instruction. Also pay a
fine of N500, 000..


All wrong
Girlfriend, you just flouted Section 234 Sub-section89a of the 1980 leggings edict. Haba! It's all wrong wearing leggings like a trouser. Please next time get a longer top. Pay a fine

of N800, 000.


Flabby chicken laps
If you want to prolong the life of shredded chicken laps, what do you do with them? Of course, you get it sealed up in a freezer, but madam you have decided to flout the law and you ended up making our lives miserable by showing off these flabby arms with contours in public. And for the red visible bra straps we couldn't help but take offence. We hereby grant you bail on condition that you bring in two sureties who are ex-beauty queens and who have buildings in choice areas in Port Harcourt. In addition, you are to bring your tax

clearance papers.