A Reflection On The Growth Of Single Parenting In Nigeria
I have heard people believe that every bad egg in the society comes from single parenting. It might be true to some extent but it is safe to say a child can turn out bad irrespective of being brought up by a single parent or both parents.
Single parenting is a household structure where one parent, this could be the father or mother, raises one or more children independently without a spouse or partner.
When one hears the word “single parent,” what comes to mind are possible causes of why someone is a single parent.
Single parenting can be by choice or by force. When I say by force, it could through the death of a spouse. Death can force the other person into “single parenting.” Other causes can be due to genotypes or traditional taboos such as the Osu in Igbo culture that are traditionally segregated from marriage. On the other hand, a partner can decide to leave a marriage for some reasons like abuse, lack of love, absence of mutual understanding and many more.
Single parenting has skyrocketed in Nigeria since the 1960’s because people’s rate of tolerance decreases unlike the medieval age where our parents endured whatever was thrown at them and they justified everything life threw at them with the phrase, “I don’t want a broken home for my children.”
It is no secret that most of them were not happy but they endured just to avoid what society would say. What comes to mind is, “Why do our society stigmatize a single parent, most especially women? Aren’t they supposed to be supportive or encouraging instead?”
The stigmatization on “single parenting” has made it cumbersome than it should be. People conclude it is always the fault of the victim (this might be true to some extent ), rather than understand his or her circumstances. Imagine a scenario where a woman refuses to leave her marriage due to physical abuse because of what people will think of a single parent. If she dies there, this same people will blame her for not leaving. So why not leave to live and ignore naysayers.
As mentioned earlier, single parenting might foster bad eggs but it has also produced influential people like the likes of President Barrack Obama, Olympic Swimmer and many more. These people are never ashamed of the fact they rose from single homes because they have publicly mentioned it.
Another stumbling block that makes single parenting a battle on its own is economic stability. Imagine a scenario where a petty trader has to fend solely for two or more children with her meagre income. Amidst all these, she wants to feed her children, clothe them and give them education or skill. Needless to say, most of these children strive to do better because they remember their root and this in turn fuels their doggedness.
Conclusively, kudos to all the single parents out there who are striving to see their children at the top. I think the society should stop playing the blame card on single parents but instead give them the needed support. Government should put in place scholarship programs for children from single homes and financial support to ease the burden of single parents.