By NBF News

Let me first say to you that children are a gift from God. The woman that you choose must not see your stepchildren as pariah. Those children are hers also by virtue of being in a relationship with you. To say that you do not want a woman who will bear children just because you want to avoid conflict is not right. I think that when you find the new woman, you must tell her unequivocally that your children are very visible and active in your life and that for her to share in that life; she must accept your children. Now, the other issue here is that if you are getting into a relationship simply to please your relatives, it is the wrong reason.

I think that at just 30 years of age, celibacy is not the answer. Even the scriptures (Corinthians) advise in part; that you should get married if you cannot be celibate and to avoid sin (not exact quote). At your age, I assume that you would be getting involved in a woman who is younger or the same age as you. That woman may still be in her child bearing age. Are you then going to deny her children because you already have your own? That I think is very selfish and the wrong reason to marry. Please do not enter into this type of pre-nuptial arrangement. By the way, do you have any custody battles with your ex? What is her say in the children's lives? Are you officially divorced? Who has full custody of the children? My friend, this is not an easy road; there are many matters to put in place before 'finding a new wife'.

Hello Njigirl,
I love you. Can I know you?
Hi Secret Admirer,
Wao! Thank you very much but I have long been taken.

Dear Njigirl,
My name is Juliet Okafor nee Nwabiani. I have been reading your column in The Sunday Sun. I really would like to know if you are from Oguta or married to an Oguta man because of your names.

Hello Juliet,
Yes I am. Delighted that you are reading my column. I hope you are well.

Dear Njigirl,
I really enjoy your column. I'm a 29-year-old lady dating a 35-year-old man. We have been going out since 2008 but he loves me in his own way. The problem is I'm a romantic person but my guy is not but each time I talk about it he claims that he is romantic but right inside me I'm empty; he is not touching my heart at all. How will I make him touch my heart and fill the emptiness of my heart? Please advise me.

• OLUCHI, Abuja.
Hey Oluchi,
You can light the candle in your relationship and bring out the warmth in your lover. There are several things that you can do really. Firstly, start by arranging to have romantic dinners at least 3 times a week. You can have 2 of those dinners in your home by preparing the dishes that you both like. Set your dining table with flowers and beautiful linen. Buy and light scented candles and slip in a nice mellow music (R&B preferably). Then indulge in silk lingerie and make your bed with satin sheets. Make reservations in a cozy restaurant for the third dinner date and be prepared to pay. You can also engage in mini romantic get-away trips to some nice locations locally or abroad. I have heard that Calabar has become a haven for lovers; why not check it out? Let us know which locations we can all indulge in for vacations. If you can afford to travel outside Nigeria, you can visit different parts of Africa. Tanzania is my favorite. Trust me, even the coldest lame duck will begin to look forward to these vacations and restaurants.

Hello Dear,
My name is Favour and I would also like to know you more, and if you can send an email to my email address,i will give you my pictures here is my email address

([email protected] ). Please reply me with my email address Ok

I am waiting for your mail to my email address,
Thanks Favor but I am not available.
Dear Nji,
I don't know if this problem of mine is within your jurisdiction but I'll be very grateful if you can proffer solution to it. I am a 29-year-old lady in a relationship with a guy in his early 30s. I found out recently that his immediate younger sister is an albino. He is just fair in complexion and his parents are just fair too. As for me everybody in my family and myself are very dark in complexion. But my fear now is since albinism runs in the blood am I likely to give birth to one? We are planning to get married very soon and I'm scared of telling my family about it because they might discourage me from getting married to him. I love this guy very much and he treats me like a queen but I don't want albinos as kids. Please what do I do? Nji please, don't publish this in your paper because my fiancé will definitely know I wrote it. Please again, do not publish it. Please do me this big favor of sending the reply to my email box. I promise not to disturb you this way again. May God keep blessing you? Amen

It is really not fair to me when I am asked not to publish your questions. You see, I have a duty to share your questions so that we can all learn from it. I do not run a private counseling forum; I use the column to educate and share knowledge. This is talent that I have been given by my Heavenly Father and I must disseminate information and knowledge in this way. As for your question, I can't tell you what your offspring's will be but understand that genealogy and genetics (DNA) determine what color and attributes that we would have. There is a new study that can narrow your offspring's exactly to the letter. I am not sure that you can have access to the study in this era. Why not ask your primary physician to a link to this study and research it?

I have been reading your program since and I like it. I'm a 23-year-old male. I am, in love with a girl. I told her to be my friend she said that she will think of it. I saw her and told her to give me the reply; she said she had not yet taken a decision. I don't know what to do to win her heart, please help me. I love her and I need her to be my friend. How can I do this?

There is nothing that you can do except to wait for her. If she is yours, she will come to you, if not you will know in due course. Continue to be kind and pay attention to her but do not badger her with your questions because this will be a turn-off.