LET US PRAY AGAIN
Dear Lord, I know thatI have spent the last two hours bugging you in church. I have asked for all kinds of things for myself. I have reported the devil and his lieutenants to you. I have asked for blessings. But you see, father, I'm not done. You know I'm worse than Oliver Twist. There is always something that I want. Thanks for always being there. However this new sets of prayers are not for me. I want to draw your attention especially to my country.
No more evil rulers
I want you to remember us in Nigeria. All kinds of prophets of doom are out there talking about disintegration of this nation. They said they can see Nigeria break into smithereens. They said they can see blood everywhere. It is not their fault. We are not such a good people. We have leaders who not only want to be rich but they also want the rest of us to be poor. And once again it is the season for elections, propaganda, promises and lies. It is the season of declaration. They have declared, the two big masquerades and I hereby bring them to your presence on this holy day.
Anybody who will get to Aso Rock and forget the pains Nigerians are going through, I stand upon the Rock of ages and I also declare that he will not get there. You see Daddy, we the people are in excruciating pains and we don't want any President who will add to our burdens. We on our part will do our best but only you know their hearts. That's why we need your intervention. That is why I'm making these declarations.
Any man who will become the number one person in this country and will not resuscitate the education sector, I declare that he shall not get there. Our schools are disappearing. We started with private nursery and primary schools and now we have private universities in every state of the federation. This year's UTME was written by more than one million young Nigerians but we were informed that there was space for just about half a million. We have had successive governments who did not make provisions for our children's future. They were too concerned about the future of their own brood.
They steal our money to train their children. When we scream, they whip out something called the rule of law. So we sorrow while they merry. In their days, Nigerians graduated at age 21. These days they graduate at 30 and then there are no jobs. Our youths spend five years writing JAMB and 10 years writing applications for jobs that don't exist. Any president who will not halt this terrible trend, God, with everything that makes you God, stop him. Did you not stop Pharaoh in the Bible when he impoverished the Israelites? Did you not drown the army he thought was invincible in the Red Sea? Did you not kill the first born of every Egyptian living and non living thing?
You see, because you can do it again, don't let an evil man become our President. We need you to come to our rescue. Our youths are turning to crime because our rulers have made honesty difficult. Once they get into office, they forget their oaths. They plugged their ears so our cries won't disturb their beauty sleep. They go abroad all the time and learn nothing. They sell their houses to contest elections because it is just a business venture. They want to serve us by force and make profit. You, God, see their hearts. We can only read their lips. Don't let an evil man ascend our throne ever again.
With my right hand raised to you, I declare that any President who will not fix all, yes Lord, all, our roads you will smite him now. Don't even let him be around for elections. How did we end up with leaders who can't construct drainage and fix potholes? How did fixing Benin-Ore road become rocket science? This oil-rich nation can't fix the most used road in Nigeria. It is time to move on and any man who is not man enough to repair our roads is not the man for the job. Stop him now Lord. I make these declarations because I know only you install and depose kings.
The debacle in Ogun
Dear Lord, I know you have seen what is happening in Ogun state. We are all sorry for them here on earth. For a state that was the gateway through which Christianity came into Nigeria, it is worrisome what has become of the people the missionaries handed the Bible to. There is so much confusion in the state. Too many sons of Eli in Ogun.
God, you have to visit your people, don't give them up to their reprobate hearts. They need deliverance. The children of the prophet are eating offerings on the altar. They are cursing one another on the internet and generally polluting our cyberspace. This state was once good but now? They need deliverance fast. Their sins are as red as scarlet but don't destroy them even though they know what they are doing. Yes Lord, they are meeting in windowless primary schools and trying to write their own laws. I didn't know they would try to outdo Edo politicians but now they have. They read this column, I think, and decided that a mace is a mace is a mace. Nine people have suspended 15 people in the House that can no longer Assemble. The lawmakers for a long time gave their governor sleepless nights and crushed his appetite. Now nobody can sleep in Ogun state. God, help them before we decide to merge them with another state.
From my little understanding, I think pride, which goeth before a fall, is what has entered the spirit of Ogun people. I guess they got carried away by the fact that the state produced the man who won the only good election this nation has had and then went on to produce a man who moved from prison to palace. One is representing us yonder while the other one is tormenting us here. Did Ogun not produce Tai Solarin and Soyinka? Is that not the state of Baba Obafemi Awolowo? Hmmn, Justice Bola Ajibola went to represent us at the Hague from Ogun state too.
Was Fela Anikulapo-Kuti not from Ogun and is Ebenezer Obey not an Egba man? If you text a rejoinder to me, you will be using a Glo line, abi? Well, Mike Adenuga too is from Ogun state. Dr Lateef Adegbite is also from there. Now, how can a state with so many influential people be perpetually at war with itself? Let the elders do something while we wait for angels to be deployed to cleanse the place. Ogun may be heading for the Red Sea even as we speak. Father Lord, please send them help from Zion.
The demons of Ibusa
Dear Lord, I think you should go to a place in Delta state called Ibusa before you visit Ogun state. I have a friend or two who are from there. That place you created all those years ago has been invaded by Lucifer and his men. They lurk along the footpaths to the farm, pounce on women, kill them and remove their wombs. At first, the people thought it was a one-off thing but it soon became a regular tragedy. Women went to the farm and didn't return. Now they have simply stopped going to the farm. The elders are invoking the gods and asking for thunder to strike dead those who are desecrating their land. We need you to intervene. The police will tell us they will 'leave no stone unturned and bring the culprits to book'.
That must be a poem all cops memorise on their first day in Police College. But we are bored. We need you to repeat that thing you did to Herod in front of everybody. Let maggots from nowhere descend on those who are removing the wombs of the women of Ibusa and eat them up until there is nothing to bury. Let this happen to them in banking halls, shopping malls and most importantly at parties. I know some of them will go to church next Sunday, please send the maggots when service is in full swing so we can learn from them. I know you are still the God of Elijah who answers by fire.