MARITAL PEACE BRINGS OUT A WOMAN'S BEAUTY – EKEH CHRIS
So how did you meet your wife?
Marriage is a thing of choice and affection. If anybody tells you that God showed him his wife or her husband that person is lying. God doesn't show you your wife or husband; what God does is that He leads you into marriage.
So many people are not mature; At the appropriate time and if you are mature, you will know your wife or husband if you see the person. The simple reason is that you know what you want. I saw what I wanted, what I had prayed for, a homely lady, somebody from somewhere that has a godly foundation and that was what I saw.
I never prayed to have somebody that is not suitable or presentable. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and love brings out the beauty of the man and the woman. When a husband and a wife live in peace, you will find out that they will begin to look alike, that is one secret. Even if they are ugly, their children will be beautiful and handsome because of peace. Peace brings out the beauty of a woman. I love my wife and I love my children.
Is she from your church?
No.
Was it that you didn't find someone you liked or that there were no sisters that fancied you in your congregation?
Before her, there was somebody I wished that I could marry but due to one thing or the other, I didn't go further. Also, I cautioned myself not to do something that will break the church. Members know themselves and they talk when they meet. If 'Sister A' who is in the church is going with Sister B in the church who is a friend to Sister C and Sister D, if you want to marry Sister B, Sister B automatically tells Sister A, who tells Sister C and Sister D, but that is from the outward mind. Anywhere your wife is, it doesn't matter the barrier, you have to stretch your hand and take what belongs to you. The truth is, I didn't feel anything for anybody within me, so I was praying that God should lead me, not to show me but lead me. Not to marry for me but to lead me.
What about seeing the sister in a dream?
At the end what happens? That is why we see a lot of divorce in the church of God today. I find it funny when people say God told them marry this or that person. When they encounter some problems in the marriage which they cannot manage, they want to run away. They forget what they said God told them, so marriage is not something you would manage.
That is why I believe in courtship; I courted my wife for two years. Broken relationship is better than broken marriage. When there is courtship, if what you are seeing is not something that you can tolerate, then you quit. When I saw everything, I saw that this is the woman that I will go with and then we had our white wedding. God has blessed us with two boys and one girl, beautiful children, I am always with them. I'm very close to my children.
As a minister of God, how do you make time for the family?
My family comes first before the ministry. The ministry is my profession. I'm a child of God, my family plus me, we are all for God. But the work that I do for God is my profession. If I am not happy at home, I will not deliver well on the pulpit. If I cannot manage my home, then I cannot manage the church. If I cannot take care of my family, I cannot take care of the church. So your first assignment is your family, not the church. Some people are good in the church but they are not good to their wife and their children.
So does she have to fill forms to see you in the office?
No. I share this office with my wife. She can sit down here while I discuss with anybody because she is me. She is part of me. If she is giving me trouble at home, I won't be a happy man. I will become like a tiger. When you look at me, you will see that I don't have pretense in my life, you will see that I am happy from inside to outside.
My wife is very understanding, she is very loving and above all, she is humble and has the fear of God.
How can we curb teenage pregnancy in the society?
The whole thing is tied on three groups of people: the home, the church and the government (school). Let there be adequate training and those who should live exemplary lives, let them show it. What parents do will definitely affect their teenagers; what the larger society does will affect teenagers.
The same goes for the church. There is what we call the subconscious mind - there are so many things that people do that gets into their subconscious mind, which will manifest with time. All the things that these teenagers are watching and hearing will get into their subconscious mind; so adults should be very careful about the do around young children who of course grow into teenagers. Growth is a gradual process, and with consistent exposure to godly upbringing, they will become good teenagers.
The church is really trying, it would have been worse than what we have now. The church is putting up seminars, conferences for teenagers, workshops and also through one-on-one counselling, they are told about the dangers of unwanted pregnancy an, HIV/AIDS. Every young person should be busy with good things of life and not sex. Relationship in life is inevitable but sex is avoidable.
The greatest gift from God to young people is knowledge and not sex. When you, as a young person, do not have anything to offer in your relationship that is when you go for sex, but people who are busy sharing knowledge are too pre-occupied to talk about it. Sex shouldn't be your priority.