KPAKO HUSBAND
Cyber sermon ,as we all know ,we are not in the business of making friends or making you happy while our family values goes to the dogs,AFTER all what is friendship if we cannot tell one another the truth without coating it with sugar words , we are threading the path of rediscovering ourselves, toward a lovely home that we all should be proud of, and raise children that will be proud to call us parents .
DO NOT SKIP -TO GET RESULT READ TO THE LAST LETTER PLS ..
Men are created to be the head of house hold, but some men are headless zombies who cannot head self ,talkless of heading a house .
BEING A HUSBAND is not when a man is able to get a woman pregnant,it is not when you pay bride price or do all the traditional rites on a bride.This brings me to some men that are not matured enough to get married ,they are so lazy and so artficial that they resort to "COMMITIEE OF FRIENDS" to pay the bride price,do traditional wine carrying and also White wedding.They will bring along more than 50 men and beg them like a beggar to help him and raise money to marry his own wife,which means he is not able and he is incapable of handling a marriage.
It is when you know the difference between living alone , doing what you want ,having everything when and where you wanted it ,AND when you have another living being with other wants and different idealogy living and sharing your 24 hrs with you ,as 2 IN1 and not as master and slave.That is when you must have graduated to become a Hus with band.Also you must know how to adjust your attitude, your needs, yours wants and when to act the Boss and when to take a second look at things and let go of those things that will spark a FAMILY RAGING FIRE.
If you do not have that UPGRADE to know that getting married is not BREAD AND BUTTER ,then you are a mistake to MENS world and therefore less qualified to be called a HUSBAND.
Some are not matured in mind to take responsibility of leading a home,they get married because thier mummy wanted them to marry,get wedded because his parents want him to, and make babies because that is what will make his family happy.
If you see that Man ,tell him that Mazi Odera said "He sucks",marriage is not a conduit to give favor to loved ones,it is a height a man must attain from mind and maturity.It is a cross to carry and not an airplane you board at a place and get off at some destination.Marriage is like your backside ,no matter how stinky it is ,you must drag it alongside to even your board meetings.Nothing will make you leave it behind.
Listen and listen good,if you cannot feed your family ,if you cannot take care of your pregnant wife and baby ,then do not marry and if accidentally you do ,do not make babies.Do not marry to please your mother or father ,sister ,brother or even your girl friend that wants you to get married to her asap,because when the chips are down ,all the above will be standing by the side and watch you fumble and womble like Nigerian super eagles.
Some men think that what it takes to be a HUSBAND is to have a HUGE ERECTION,NO NO NO ,it takes that to be a Man but to be a Husband ,it takes commitment.Even boys of this days can take Viagra and over take will overtake the over take !!!.
Let,s see if you have been doing your Husbandry job ..
[1] When was the last time you take time out to play with your family ?.
i mean real play ,like having interest on the type of games your kids play and try it out with them.
Sneak behind your wife in the kitchen and cause her to add too much salt in the soup,all in the name of tapping current.
This reminds me of some idiotic men,those with pimples in thier brain ,who goes about chasing skirts outside,as if the whore outside has 3 breast or double "portion" ,it is same thing in your wife ,it is because you refused to treat your wife as a hearthrob ,it is the only reason you are playing with idiotic whoring outside your lovely home .
some will tell you that the wife do not know how to "give sex" .which means, you that is Sex professor should teach her ,if you cannot teach her ,simply buy a sex film and both of you will watch and get educated for good.some will say tufiakwa, but he will sneak out to some harlots and get "tufiakwa sex".
Listen here you husband ,if your wife do not know ,just teach her or there is no shame in getting educated ,get some BLUE or it is brown film and two of you will watch it and upgrade.
There is no known formula that works in marriage ,unless you are married to the wife of the other person ,you cannot use same formula.If what will make your marriage to blossom is to buy one sex film every day ,i will advise you buy 2 per hour and whosoever said no ,should go and hit the wall with his face.
Did i mention that some wants girls with pointed breast ?,well ,look in the mirror and see that your stomach is not as it use to be,which means nothing stands forever,plus who made her breast to sag in the first place ?.If that outside whore get her breast sucked by babies ,it will stay in same position.So it not an excuse at all.
If you think your wife is no longer giving you the kicking you need ,let me tell you a secret ,,,,once in a while travel with the family and share same hotel room,you will see that some closeness of waking up together,going out together ,having breakfast together,sleeping together and plus if the kids falls asleep ,,,[do not ask me what you have to do with the wife].
You will see that during after that vacation ,that a brand new marriage will be created.
[2] Have you tried taking your family to a weekend outing ?,i am sure you work on weekends but which one is more important ,your weekend duties or to take out once or twice a month and pack your family off to weekend in some cool place.That is how to re-discover your family,that way you can abandon all the weekends ceremony and celebrate with your own family.If you try that ,you will see that there are lots of unseen joy that will manifest in your wife,kids and your very self.
[3] Have you shared a night prayer with your family ? or you always come back home reeking of alchohol ,and you careless if kids are well or worn out .Did you ask your wife how was her day ? or you think it does,nt matter ?.Well ,all this small stuff matters to them.
Atimes you call her from office of business and she may be sarcastic ,but just let her know you call to say hi and bla bla bla ,,,,, you will see that if you are doing it right that some of the things that are lacking will be back .Like if your dinner use to be cold ,it will start getting warm..if your stew or soup use to have 3 lumps of meat ,it will increase .
Every woman wants to hear you say something nice ,they want to know that they are ebeano period, and you owe it to her .
[4] If you must travel from one wedding to the next ,from one Convention to another and from one ceremony to another,then travel with your sense.Always come back before Children hit bed.
If you are to spend the night in Hotel ,do not drink yourself to stupor ,because once you are drunk ,you become excited and once excited your Nadike ogbogu become electrifying and unbending, and once it is electrifying ,you will be looking for DEEP FREEZER to cool it inside, and in such situation ,you do not discriminate between SINGLE AND MARRIED LADIES,you just get one to quench the urge.
Some men are walking time bomb ,they live in frustration but only manifest it at home ,a little thing from the wife ,he will pounce on her the same way Americans pounce on any nation that refused to sale them oil at american give away rate.If that kind of man thinks he wants to vent out his frustration on human ,it is better ,he approach any of the MOTORCYCLE GANG and kick down thier BIKE.Or drag self to [email protected] to come and kick asses of real igbomen.
They should not be local champions that triumph on thier wife,you see that kind of shit headed men ,when they see another woman outside he will spread his heart and beg the girl to walk on it with HIGH HEEL SPIKE SHOES and the man will be smiling like a december goat,which must grace the stew pot .
That same woman that you are seeing as angel outside ,if you bring her home for one month ,she will make you feel like living in Sudan during that past genocide ,at least you will know you died in conflict.
Married men,some of us are hot tempered when they get home ,that is when they become Ezeonye agwanam ,if the wife try to chat with him ,he will turn to Tiger and if the woman try one more time to have a family chit chat ,he will pounce on her and beat the living daylight out of her.If you know that kind of man ,ask him to bring his frustration to IGBO FORUM ,so that he will practise his iwe oku on Mazi Odera .Such men are coward of the second generation ,because they cannot face a fellow man outside his home to vent off his anger.And,i love to kick the behind of such men .
Marriage is like moving into a new house you just bought,before the house is added unto the market ,a new paint should be in place and some artficial make ups will follow .It is only when you packed in that you may discover that the plumbing job is nasty,that the roofing is something else.When those faults will be unfolding ,you do not run away like an idiot ,you just start dealing with them one after the other and by the time anybody will say Afor Nnobi ,you have upgraded the house to your test.
Try same with marriage ,if you marriage is not working try and start looking closely to see where it has problem ,and fix it one after the other ,that is why it is called MANAGE sorry i mean marriage ,it is not suppose to be bed of roses ,if it is, then 9 years old boys will rush into it.Marriage is also like Salad which is delicious to eat ,but have you tried the process that makes it to be edible ?,,,,well ,you have to go and buy all the stuff to prepare it,then you have to wash and slice ,then seperate and combine and add cream and dish out again.
Count the process you will get my drift ,it is not walking into 7 eleven mart and buy coke.
WHEN YOU gain respect of your family ,the children will miss you when you come back late,and they will worry about your safety.
Your wife will stay up waiting for you,not when you always look for one WAKE keeping to attend or Association meetings, and from work to meeting ,when you get home ,you walk in like a stranger and no smiles to welcome you home.
That way you think you are head of the family ,no no no ,you are a visitor to your own house and if you drop dead ,no body will mis you.
When you gain respect of your family ,your kids will become your friend and your wife will be your GIRL FRIEND and Wifey, and you will prance about as KING .
If you want to know a happy married man ,when ever he takes call from his family ,he will light up and after the call ,he will announce "that,s my wife" "that,s my son,daughter"
But when you suck ,your family will not mind if you are Home or away and the more you stay away the happier they are ,then look at the mirror in your toilet and scream ... I SUCK !!!!
Fellow men,Listen and listen good there is no bad wife ,God said he who finds a wife ,finds a good thing.So when you went out and find a wife ,you were not blind.Do not tell me that she changed ,because you can change her back if you are THE MAN.
If you know what made you marry her in the first place ,that thing is not lost but abandoned ,so try and re-locate it and you will have a brand new wife.
When next you have that feeling to slap your wife ,take this advise from me ...just picture her naked the first day two of you mated ,then think of the reason why you did not slap her that first day but DID THE OTHER THING ,that alone will help you to cool off.If you beat her up once ,your value has reduced .
Maybe you did not notice that Women are like Radio with so many stations ,if you tune her up to Hip hop station ,she will become noisy ,do not broke the Radio ,just change to another station.
If you keep tuning and turning the knob, you will get a station that you like and keep the dial at that station.
HOW ABOUT IF DNA confirm that they are not my kids ???......
Sure this is a solid excuse to kick the head of that woman ,tear her face and chop off her arms ,but listen here you small size sensed man ,let me tell us [i just hope women are not reading this] ,,,
Where was DNA when you paid her dowry,carry her wine and wedded her ?
Where was DNA when you were doing the job that resulted into that baby ? ,because you cannot tell me that you did not do what you have to do before she get pregnant.
Where was DNA when she was carrying the pregancy and you stood by her all through till the baby comes to life ?
Maybe the DNA was blind when the baby came into this life and you started taking care of the mother and the baby,atimes having a sleepless night.
Then it get to a time ,the first man that baby called DADDY was you.....come on what is father hood ?.Maybe you are the person that named the child ,cuddled the child ,kissed the child and someday a computer which may have virus or not ,will tell you that ,DNA did not match.who cares ?
Nwannem, you do not need DNA to know that a child born under your roof ,who you cared for ,who calls you father and who you love is your child for life.Do not allow some junk made by confused men to set you on path of agony.I am sure that our parents never even have the need for DNA-RISING us for they love us as we are ,so shall we love our kids .
If somebody ever suggest you have your children go through DNA just to be sure ,just politely ask the person to show you his own proof that who he calls father is his DNA match.
There are things that are better left unknown ,because knowing it will make you develope heart problem and it creates more problem than solution.
Why do you think we men die earlier than women ? it is because we care for silly thing and worry about stupid things.
if you tell me you saw my wife at so so and so place ,i will politely ask you when did i send you to monitor her for me ?,and i will like to beg you to stop following her around .You see some people are joy killers ,they will only tell you what will make you suspicious of your wife ,but the truth is that you do not need those garbage .
Show me any marriage that is perfect and i will show you GARDEN OF EDEN .Every marriage is a work in the progress ,even when you have great grand children ,your marriage is still progressing.
Stop listening to those friends that will tell you how to make your wife know that you are the head of the house,because if you are the head the woman is the neck and if she refuse to turn you will be looking at one place for life.
Let me ask us- self ,who is the head of the house ? ,the person that decide what we are to have for breakfast ,what to have for lunch and diner and the person that takes care of the house or the one that jumps into his car racing to one meeting or some business then top the day with one glass of kai kai ?.
Listen nwokem ibem ,we are the head of the house in words but in action our wives are calling the shots ,especially those that knew how to be obedient ,they manipulate us like remote control.So stop whining and craving for inanities.
FINALLY :Take out time to bless your family ,even if you are not a Christian ,you can bless your children ,your wife by the words of your mouth .
Tell them that they are blessed from the bottom of your heart.
Some men use thier mouth to curse thier own children and wife ,and tommorrow you will want them to become somebody ?.
When you say to your child "you this useless and stupid son/daughter" ,and you will like that child to become useful later in life ?.Please know that the power of life and death lies with the tongue.
Have you ever called your wife a Whore ? ,if you have ,just buy her a heavy diner and apologise to her.
If you have cursed your chidlren and or your wife ,kindly call them to a good dinner ,home made or dinning outside and after a good dinner ,tell them that "if there is any bad word or curse you,ve placed on them,knowingly,jokingly or otherwise ,that you are taking it back.That you are blessing them and blessing they shall be all the days of thier life".
Do not forget that family that prays together stays together and also the family that eat together are bound to stay with love.
HUSBAND & WIFE ;THE ONLY FAMILY THAT IS PRIORITY is your immediate family ,which includes your spouse and children.Your brothers ,parents and sisters are just second priority.
The only people you owe number one allegiance is your immediate family,so when ever somebody brands advice on how to CONTROL your wife or husband ,make sure that person lost your home address and phone number ,they are the evil wind that blows no one no good.
Try and bless your family once in a day or while ,it is what makes you a good father and with that i "REST MY CASE".
By Mazi Odera
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