CAN YOU LIVE IN YOUR WIFE'S HOUSE?
In some cases the wife is a woman of means. She's blessed in all her endeavors , but her husband is not that lucky . Chibuzor (not real name) is married to a Yoruba lady (name withheld) who comes from a wealthy family in Lagos. Her parents gave her everything she could ever want perhaps , because she's their only child.
One of such was a mighty four-storey building situated around Ojuelegba/ Yaba axis in the city. They have two lovely kids and peace in their family. Chibuzor is a very brilliant and hardworking man who worked for one of the blue chip companies in Nigeria. He retired to establish his own business earlier than he planned.
The wife also is a bundle of humility who did not mind Chibuzor's middleclass status . She tolerated Chibuzor's foibles and Chibuzor tolerated her's. She never rubbed her wealth in her husband's face. It's not the same experience with other couples when the wife is a woman of means who has some structures in her kitty.
She's a source of envy by her husband who inevitably feels insecure and suspicious. He would not consider for one minute the idea of living in his wife's house , because of his ego and even if it means they have to separate. Would you live in your wife's house ? A number of respondents to Family Line's rather limited survey share their views below. Excerpts:
I will not dare do that, but situations and circumstances arise and you are left with no option , but to do just that.
I believe if there is mutual understanding and love between you, it can always work out.
A man who would like to maintain his integrity and honour will not want to compromise it for anything . Situations could warrant it, but I would not prolong it unlike some men who would not try to secure another accommodation but are contented with staying in their wives' houses. I can stay in a house she built, provided it is outside the country and I was visiting and for a short period of time.
Secondly, if I built the house in her name I don't mind, but if it's her personal house or the one she inherited, no way.
I can say without equivocation that it may not really work out .
It might not be bad from her own perspective and mine, but what about those around? Her parents, friends and whoever must have gotten wind of the fact that she built the house.
My cultural beliefs do not permit that.
If I didn't own a house before I married her, I would work and plan towards having one.
But if she had an apartment or a house before we got married, what she should do is let it out .If she loves me, she will be obedient and comply with my decisions. She will not be arrogant in my home.
Sometimes you can hardly vouch for women. They might initially express love for you, but after marriage they take advantage of whatever they may have done for you and change their attitudes. We have had so many terrible experiences, which we do not pray to encounter.
Yes, but it depends on the situation . As long as my wife is the bones of my bones and the flesh of my flesh, I don't mind. I think whatsoever belongs to my wife equally belongs to me. It only boils down to love, understanding, maturity.
But If she built the house before we got married, I will definitely not move-in with her, because the Bible says a woman shall leave her parents are cleave unto her husband and they shall be together.
If she built the house while we are married and I had my own apartment, I could move into her new house with her.
Sure, why not? We became one the very moment we got married.
What is the essence of marriage , if we cannot share everything including her house. That does not mean I cannot afford to build mine.
Anyone who sees it as a taboo should let go his ego and pride and come back to his senses, because marriage is not all about being a dictator. It is all about your partner and you having in mind your conjugal vows.
It is not an issue for negotiation.
A lady who cannot endure with me at any point , but would prefer relocating me to her own house is not my type.
If a woman accommodates you in her house, she might some day become funny towards you and will no longer be submissive to you just because she is the landlady. I tell you, not all these ladies you see are wife materials . They are just there to fill a vacuum.
In a nutshell, I cannot live in my wife's house. It's not negotiable.
There is nothing new under the sun. The Bible says we are help-meets to each other.
Sometimes one's situation can change and become adverse, so where does the man run to ? When he has beside him a solution, someone who can assist him, why not?
Stubbornness in this instance does not always solve the problem, it rather worsens it. I have no objections.
As long as we are together, we can always be each other's confidant and helper.
But the husband should not rest on his oars. He should equally try to get on his feet.