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FREAKY FLESH

By NBF News
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Dangerous
For crying out loud, is this sliced bread on a blue band margarine advert? Investigation shows that you almost caused a train accident at Oshodi. For recklessly flaunting your mammary glands in the public you're hereby fined N900, 000.

Freaky
During cross examination in the witness box, you were asked if you actually wore this in your bedroom or in public and you confessed to this honorable court that you wore it to a public function. This is so freaky and careless. Girlfriend, you need to wear something more suitable for events such as this. Since you pleaded for mercy, you would be granted bail with two sureties who are top Alfas and with the sum of N500, 000.



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Lady Gaga wannabe?
Is there another Lady Gaga in our midst or are we making a mistake? If we are wrong, that means you would be charged with style impersonation. How come you are all dressed up like a masquerade?

Section 234 of the Style Penal Code says 'whenever you are creating an identity for yourself try and take style ethics into consideration'. But you have done otherwise and you ended-up looking like something from a scary movie. You are fined N750, 000.



Ruined!
The jewellery trend slogan for this season is big , bold and beautiful. The earrings are fantastic and sure compliment your hair cut. Infact that neckpiece is a stunner any day, anytime, but all that awesomeness is ruined because it would have been better on a dress. Pay a fine of N500, 000, please.



Breast-ful
The three words that can describe this look are simply black, boring and breast-ful! Dressing like this doesn't make you more or less pretty. Rather, it makes you worse. You have been fined

N800, 000..


Too fleshy
Some rules are crystal clear. With your earrings a stunning hairstyle would have done the magic. Besides this , you are showing too much on top and this is contrary to Section 25 of the Style and Morals Constitution. You are hereby sentenced to Benue State for the next six months. A report reaching us shows that the state government needs more hands on the farm for the next yam season.