HUSBAND ENCOURAGED HER TO DO IT
Did you hear about the husband and the wife that got stranded on an island? Not that one. Another man finally showed up with a canoe that could only take two people. He had the only option of taking either the wife or the husband back to the shore. If you were the husband or the wife, who would be in the canoe with the canoe man with space only for two?
The canoe man did not care, he was ready to take one of them but would be foolish to take both at the risk of losing the lives of all of them in the sea as the canoe would capsize. After some thoughts, the husband encouraged the wife to go first with the strange man hoping one of them would risk the turbulence of the sea and come back for him. That was if both ever made it to the shore alive.
The wife and the canoe man ran into series of turbulence including fighting off sharks and other dangers in the rough sea. When the wife and the canoe man got to the shore, they debated on which of them would go back for the husband. The wife begged him to go back for the husband but he refused to risk his life for another stranger he hardly knew but was willing to let the wife risk her life for the husband.
The canoe man then decided he would only go if the wife made love to him. Suspicious and weary, the wife finally agreed as long as she allowed her to divulge the secret to the husband when she felt comfortable. After the most pleasurable love making she ever had, the canoe man wanted more. She enjoyed him but wanted him back to the husband before the weather become too rough into the season.
The wife decided to work for some money so that she could get capable boat and crew to go and save the husband. In that case, the canoe man wanted to get paid first for all his trouble or in return, she could remain his girlfriend until the husband returned. Since time was getting short and bad weather was setting in with little food to eat where the husband was, the wife decided to become his mistress.
The husband waited and later gave up thinking he was going to starve to death or eaten by some wild animals. After all, he knew he gambled on his wife. But he felt strongly that he made the best decision. It would be better for one of them to live than both of them dead because he refused to let his wife into the canoe for only two. True to the husband, the wife never gave up on him. She continued to improvise and labor hard for his rescue.
Before coming back to this story, there are many real life situations where women have been pushed into other people's laps in order to save not only a husband but the children. No man worth his salt ever pray for such situation but others have encouraged their wives into that situation. There are many cases where husbands and wives are inadvertently pushed into situations beyond their control in order to keep body and soul together.
On the other hand are men or women, in some cases where only one of them encourages the other into it. We have heard about men using their wives to facilitate their careers or to get promotions on the job. It is even worse in the entertainment industry where both husband and wife promised each other not to get jealous of their roles in movies and what it takes to get their roles. Some type of understanding until one partner cannot take it anymore.
Of course we are not talking about open marriage here. Those type of relationships are made with their eyes wide open. It may not start out that way and some may gradually grow into it. There are other relationships where couples decide to date other people with a chance that they may miss one another along the way and decide to resume their relationship later. Others have remained friends after breakups.
The reason for some of these aberration may have to do with the increasing amount of breakup in marriages or decline in the number of traditional marriages. There is also increasing amount of independence among couples with different lifestyles, education and social groups that their partners may not want to be part of but safe with their partner's economic security. In such cases, money ties them together more than anything else.
It is not all men's convenience. There are women that are not comfortable with one man but like the prestige of being married. If they can find a willing partner that wanted such relationship in exchange for economic security, so be it. So we have married women that are mistresses to other men in high places. There are stories of such women in international circles, travelling to exotic countries on “business”.
There are variety of cases, situations and reasons couples are drawn into various categories. We also know that in most of these, only one partner is comfortable with the arrangement, in most cases, men. Women have a better reason to be uncomfortable. They have a shorter period to be sexually attractive and be productive at the same time because they are usually tied down by child births. Even those that do not want children, seldom last in such market.
Men also have the advantage of not being tied down by children. Children is one of the most important factor women are driven into poverty. They are less willing to part with the children than men. It takes much more to gain custody of children if you are a man than if you are a woman. The weight of those children is a calculated risk and one of the reason women are savvier in their choice of men that will take care of the family. Sexual pleasure, secondary.
While some reject the notion that girls are more mature than boys early in life, they agree that girls have a shorter window to grow up and therefore forced into earlier choice than boys. If that is the case, it destroy the notion that men encourage women into relationships they are not comfortable with. The only way around it is: unless it is what the woman wants to do in the place, just looking for approval from a man that agree with her.
So when the husband encouraged his wife to follow the canoe man in order to save her and his life later, he should have known that his wife was not coming back to him. The wife went back!
Written by Farouk Martins Aresa.