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Real Love Comes With A Choice Not A Chance

Source: Theguardian/Uzo Akumah -
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When all the butterflies have fluttered away and your wedding day becomes a distant memory, you will discover that you've married someone who is just as imperfect as you. And they, in turn, will come to learn that you have problems, insecurities, struggles, quirks–and body odor–just as real as theirs!

Then you will realize that real love isn't just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling–it's a deliberate choice–a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Of course, you don't choose who you're attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with. Forget the saying of the heart goes where it wants to go, you can control it's movement.

Our society places a lot of emphasis on feelings. We are taught that we should always follow our feelings and do whatever makes us happy. But feelings are very fickle and fleeting. Real love, on the other hand, is like the north star in the storms of life; it is constant, sure, and true. Whenever we're lost and confused we can find strength in the love that we have chosen.

Besides, life already offers us plenty of spontaneity: rejection, job loss, heartache, disappointment, despair, illness, and a host of other problems. We simply can't abandon our ships every time we encounter a storm in our relation with partners. Real love is about weathering the storms of life together.

If you want to really be with her to the end and that day comes where you will need to change her diapers (in very ripe old age of course) do it with love. We have heard of cases where men quit their jobs to take care of their wives – not even kids here. Let all you do scream love. The way you talk to her, the way you look at her, the things you do for every her, the places you take her to etc.

Love is so much more than some random, exultant feeling. Real love goes beyond sex, kissing, gifts and saying I love you. It isn't always fluffy, cute, mushy and cuddly. More often than not, real love has its sleeves rolled up, dirt and grime smeared on its arms, and sweat dripping down its forehead. Real love asks us to do hard things–to forgive one another, to support each other's dreams, to comfort in times of grief, or to care for family. Real love isn't easy–and it's nothing like the wedding day–but it's far more meaningful and wonderful.

We recently came across this wonderful quote: “No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.”

Whenever you run into a problem in your relationship, make sure to do your best and choose to love. Remember certainly no one is perfect and it may not always go as anticipated.

If you truly love someone (and they truly love you), commit to that love and plan on it being hard work.

But also plan on it being the most rewarding work of your life.