TheNigerianVoice Online Radio Center

Dating After 30

Source: Theguardian/Kemi Amushan -
Listen to article

ONCE you are 30 and still single, you start to feel anxious and nervous about settling down. As most people celebrate the age 30, some actually feel defeated and cast down because they have not really achieved what they hoped at that age concerning relationships.

I know I felt the same way. Growing up I thought for sure I was going to be married and have a family by the time I was 25. Then 25 came and went and soon I was entering my 30's with little prospect of finding that special someone. Then a funny thing happened. I began to ask myself, “Why am I over 30 and still single?” And I realized that the reason I was single was “ME”. “I” was the one choosing the wrong partners and “I” was the one making all the wrong dating choices. I needed to change what I was doing. So I did some inner work on myself and soon after, I realized that I was not only a better “me,” but I also became a “dater.” Everything seems different, I started noticing myself making conscious choices and I'm having fun in the dating world now. I now know that being single in my 30's actually is a huge blessing for me when it comes to dating. And as I began to do some research I realized that being over 30 is something that can be advantageous to all women. So ladies, stop thinking dating after 30 is a curse for you, rather see it as a gift. When you are still dating after 30,

When you are still dating after 30, the men are just better.

They say, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,” but the fact is that men, over 30 are actually a good bunch of fish than the younger ones. For starters, unlike women, who have been shown to reach full brain maturity in their mid 20's, it's been shown than men's brains don't fully mature until close to their 30's. That means that most men in their 20's may not really be ready to be the best boyfriend, husband, or father they can be until they are older. Not to mention the fact that most men over 30 are more secure in the careers and their finances, both important factors in many of our dating choices. Since most of us tend to date within a few years of our own age all this means that being over 30 allows you to pick from a seasoned crop of potential candidates.

When you are still dating after 30, you're less likely to divorce.

Did you know that the older you are for your first time marriage, the less likely you are to divorce? I read somewhere that for every year you put off marriage, you face a lower risk of eventually getting divorced. I actually don't know how accurate that is but anyways the bottom line is you are less likely to make a mistake in marriage when you find a partner after 30 then you are when you are younger.

When you are still dating after 30, the sex is better

I am sure you have heard that saying that men reach their sexual peak at 18 and women at 35. But when it comes to sex, women increase their passion and desire for sex as they close in on and pass 30.

I also read somewhere that women ages 27 through 45 not only reported having more sexual fantasies than women ages 18 through 26, but also having more sex overall.
This desire and excitement for sex can be attributed to the fact that as we get older we just know more about our bodies and what turns us on, thus have more confidence about getting what we like and don't like when it comes to sex. All this can lead to improved relationship confidence and better sex with those we love.

When you are still dating after 30, the fairy tale ends, real life begins.

I have always felt that fairy tale expectation, when it comes to love can be more detrimental to relationships than almost anything else. When many of us are younger, there is no question we dream that our lives will live out like some fairy tale. I know I did.
After all, we are bombarded with phrases like “Love will conquer all” and “And they lived happily ever after” to the point where why wouldn't we believe it? So when an up and down dating life starts chipping away at that fairy tale vision, it's no wonder that for many 30+ singles like me out there, this happy ending becomes more of a pipe dream than a very real possibility. I think this is a good thing, since by eliminating the fairy tale along with the unrealistically high expectations that come with it; you become a better dater and a more authentic, grounded person. When this happens and you are able to add fun to dating and let things happen the way they are supposed to, then great things often come with it including quality relationships.

When you are still dating after 30, you're just wiser

There is a saying that, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to get your Prince.” But it's important to know that every time you kiss a frog, you really learn valuable information about what you like and don't like in a partner.