'PUPILS BENEFIT MOST FROM FAMILY BOND'

An expert, Mr. Busola Ojo, has blamed some of the ills of the society on poor parental relationship and the effects of a dysfunctional home.

Ojo, who spoke during parenting workshop – 'Removing Obstacles to Succeeding as Parents,' organised by Dansol High School, Lagos in collaboration with Solid Foundation Ministry, said parents should identify the shortcomings of their unions and strive to plug them before they become irreversible as to leave scars on their offsprings.

She said, 'The repercussion of a disunited home or single parenting cannot be overemphasized, especially on the children who in later years will head or be running their own individual families.

'It is part of a contribution to the society when we build our individual families, who in turn form a part of a larger whole.

'Many of the ills of the society today is as a result of dysfunctional families and whatever decisions we make, let us realise that it would impact most on our children.'

Sharing somebody's experience, a parent said, ' The last straw came when dad announced his intention to leave mom, and moving on with his girlfriend.

'Mom and I had established a rapport with each other. I thought it was just another shocking event for me to forget and move on with my life but I was wrong.

'We moved to a smaller house in a new neighbourhood, I had to change school and friends, and that distressed me a lot. Mom took on a new and more demanding job which meant longer hours away from home.

'I missed both parents. Even if dad had been away, I always had contact with him but now I had no communication with him. It was as if he had disappeared completely from my life. I was angry most of the time. I became a loner without friends. In fact, I still experience acute phobia and nervousness when meeting new or old acquaintances.'

Ojo listed the bane of good parenting to include, poor relationship with spouse, lack of understanding of the developmental patterns of children and inadequate involvement in the child's life.

Other highlights of good parenting listed included, extension of unconditional love, understanding children's culture, staying together as spouse and inculcation of proper discipline.