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For The First Time, Foluke Daramola’s Mum Speaks On Daughter’s Rape Saga

Source: Nathan Nathaniel Ekpo/

To every mother, raping their female daughter might even end in a very sad note as many mothers could go as far making trouble with the rapist and it might lead to death but for Dr.Rev. Mrs. Aderonke Daramola, things never went bad for her because she never knew her daughter was raped not until she read it in the pages of the newspapers.

Nollywood actress, Foluke Daramola, was raped at the age of 16 while still living in their father's uncompleted building but never said it out even to the hearing of her widow mother who was struggling to make ends meet as a loving mother.

When approached her while she came out to celebrate her daughter's success at the premiere of her movie 'Cob Web,' Mrs Aderonke stated that there is nothing she could have done but felt so sad as a mother and being an ordained pastor, hoped that God would have warned her about the danger ahead.

How do you feel seeing people come out to celebrate your daughter today?

I feel elated; I mean I feel very happy.

When your daughter Foluke was raped at that tender age, as a mother, how did you feel?

In actually fact, she did not tell me. I just saw it in the newspapers, but she never told me. Maybe she was wondering how I was going to feel because she lost her dad at a very tender age of three. It was not easy at all because we were living in an uncompleted building that the father built before he died. We had terrible experience with tenants even there was a time she was beaten.

Maybe she did not want to break your heart?

Yes, you know she said that she had to visit the psychologist, you know many of them like that will not be able to tell anyone, maybe not to frustrate me.

But if she had told you, what would you have done then?

As at that time, I might feel disturbed but by God's grace, You know she is a wonderful child, I would have felt so bad. As at that particular time, I have not gotten my anointing, I was ordained as a Pastor in 1991, but I would have felt disturbed, maybe God would have given me a message.
You said you lost your husband when Foluke was 3 years old, how have you been able to cope without remarrying or did you along the line remarry?

No, I did not remarry. I just feel like when God just want to preserve because I always talk with God and I asked him why he took away my better half and he told me that he needs me.

Sorry Ma, how old were you when you lost your husband?

I was 34, in 1981 when I lost my husband.

You mean you stayed from 1981 till today, how were you able to cope without a man and sex all along?

Ah, I was about to get married when I was in bible college to a Rev. Doctor even the director then was trying to match make the two of us because he had no wife but at the long run, you know what God has said it will come to pass but suddenly the man just took ill and died, I could have married. Even my mother insisted that I should not get married. She said who I am going to marry, so she was afraid. She just told me not to marry and I should remember the widow in the bible that no man I'm going to get married to that has not got his own family and they will say this fair woman has killed her husband, so she was just begging me that God will take care of my children for me and again, she has brought me up in a way that I don't go out, so maybe that was why I was able to cope even myself I don't like the idea of going from one man to another, so I don't want my children to suffer, I just look at the short comings and effects of getting married, so I just changed my mind.

How old are you ma?

I am 74 years old

What is your advice to young girls out there as a mother?

My advice is that if you are a widow and you are still young, if you know you can't hold yourself, you can get married but focus on your God. If you can hold yourself fine but if you can't hold yourself, just pray for somebody who is going to understand you. Then look at the children because the children so far they are old it will not be easy for them to cope with such family. So you have to hold on though it is not easy I think I will thank my mother as an Angel because she supported me even when she died, I can I couldn't stand it again because I was lonely. If you are lonely and nobody to support you, then it will be a problem, so just rely on God.

Do not depend on what can be done for you depend on what you can do for yourself
By: Emeka Okpara