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I Come To Bury President Jonathan

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I have come to realize that nothing in life is an exception to the law of diminishing return. That law is a stubborn one, and one may not appreciate it if he did not follow how the law of diminishing return will return President Jonathan to Otuoke in a matter of weeks. Not just that, it is unrepentantly determined to bury President Jonathan- from the polity, from the good side of history, from taking another shot, from making the first impression the second time. It will bury him in the glare of the public- the highs and the lows. Even in the faces of those whose many crimes were pardoned to give him a chance to live again. Before the law does that, I have come to bury President Jonathan!

President Jonathan is an ingrate and he has reaped the dividend of being one. He bit the fingers that fed him and insulted the same cup that gave him a taste of power. Like most of his predecessors, he dined and wined at the expense of the ordinary people, but unfortunately, unlike his predecessors, he broke his spine.

For the purpose of simplifying this argument, let us forget everything that happened when Goodluck Jonathan was Deputy Governor under Governor Diepreiye Alamiesegha or when he was the governor of Bayelsa State following the impeachment of Alamiesegha for corruption – including the arrest of Mrs. Patience Jonathan for money laundering (redacted and deleted from the memory of Nuhu Ribadu and the EFCC). Let us forget all that happened when he was Vice President under President Musa Yar'Adua or Acting President following his death. Let us not even address the several misfortune that envelopes the polity. Let us just identify where and how he started digging his grave for this funeral we have gleefully come to grace.

Let me not dignify impunity on the altar of statistics and online surveys. Those who felt the scourge of Jonathan’s insensitivity and irresponsible government the most do not even know what survey or statistic means. They know things were harder than it used to be, so I should not rub salt on their injuries by any development index. The day I vowed never to embrace statistics again, at least for the little time left till Jonathan zooms to Otuoke was when a survey revealed Nigeria is the largest economy in Africa and it makes no difference in the lives of the ordinary man.

President Jonathan’s problem did not start the day he forgot the cries of the common men, it started the day he could not curb the excesses of his Mrs. In an ideal nation, people like Patience Jonathan are enrolled in a private tutorial for a space of two to three years. Yes, it will take that long because she deserves to be polished in many aspects- public speaking, public carriage, human relations and composure. It could extend to four years or more because a close observation reveals that her type is not teachable. Unfortunately, President Jonathan did not do this and the devil has banked on that to attend his bouffe- he must dance to stupor! Truth be told, in the just concluded election that called for this burial message, both critical and shallow analysts cannot underscore how much damage our comic first lady did to the dream of Mr. President. Is it the insensitive insult on the person of drivers and conductors? Is it the disgrace the elites felt because their contemporaries in other parts of the world mock them because of their eccentric first lady? Is it the unconstitutional and morally reprehensible rancour she ignited with the governor of Rivers state? Is it about how ‘loyal’ executive governors of states were seen kneeling before her at rallies? Is it about the abusive words on the Northerner which governor Kwankwaso frowned at? Or the desperate plea to the Oyo populace that prison is inevitable if Buhari should emerge victor? Think about it! This is not a criticism of her meddling in the affairs of the government, it is a criticism of her unfit status to do that.

As if that was not enough clog on the wheel of Jonathan’s second term ambition, an inconsiderate campaign committee of Jonathan pushed a person like Fani, the never repenting undoing of the nation to the campaign’s most sensitive part. Since then, he had wrecked more havoc with words than the good he claimed his ancestors did to our nation. Like Fayose, the typical example of a national worry, Fani-Kayode created more enemy for President Jonathan than one can imagine. This is the Fani that insulted a whole integral part of the nation by making an issue out of his affairs with Bianca. He is the proverbial disappointed hunter that settled for lame ducks. He opened his mouth and polluted the polity. Fani-Kayode’s decorous moment lies in his awareness of a possibility of an impartial panel, that would reveal to him that the walls of the prisons are not decorated. In conjunction with Fayose who disgracefully sold out the integrity of his state, they donated a giant plank for the construction of Jonathan’s political coffin. They earnestly promoted the politics of hatred and ethnicity, it ricochetted like a bullet and hit the principal right in the most delicate part. Easy, they fought the good fight that would reveal where they belong- nowhere.

For those who believe that Jonathan’s irredeemable knock out was self induced, you have a point. The President himself never acted different from his reward triggered team of followers- he admitted his generation failed the nation right on the podium of his soliciting for another chance. He devoted more time destroying his key opponents than he did in building himself. Publicly, he did admitted that ‘throwing every corrupt leaders in prison would leave us with no leader.’ President Jonathan, I am here to bury you!

President Jonathan flaunted his endurance at the gymnasium, but Nigeria needed that endurance in his fight against corruption. Sadly, Okupe never informed the President that the next election has nothing to do with muscle flexing. President Jonathan budgeted almost a billion annually on feeding, but Abati did not remind him the masses who sleep in hunger will determine how long the meal will last. President Jonathan shielded Alison Madueke from the searchlight of truth, but he could not shield himself from a shameful exit from the Aso compound. President Jonathan did not cease in his campaign against bias on the ground of religion and ethic group, yet the vice president openly charged the North against the opposition based on religion.

Before I submit, it is worthy to do a brief review of how Jonathan met the policy less than five years back and how he would leave it. I have my opinion and assessment of this administration- it has been archived to tell a tale of a man who rose from grass to grace and then shamefully to irrelevance. Grab your pen and paper; access him on security, education, employment, poverty alleviation, youth empowerment and other areas that affect our lives. Then you will be proud that you played a role in burying Jonathan.

Before now, President Jonathan was lucky that Nigerians were too busy with more important things – fighting over Chelsea and Manchester United fixtures. Placing a bet on Arsenal and the decision the coaches of each team make each Saturday and how the European league referees perform on the pitch. Before now, Nigerians have abandoned their own team, their own coaches, their own referees, their own pitch and the matches that affect their lives the most. Before now, Nigerians are busy following Iyanya and Amber Rose on twitter, they did not follow how their welfare has been unfollowed.

Before President Jonathan is made to rest and shut his eyes to the reality of the political life, let all man learn a salient lesson- that there is no limit to where one can reach or what one can be in life. However, importantly, that there is also no limit to how low one can sink if he should turn his ears against the cries of those who pushed him up.

Today, Jonathan's luck ran out because Nigerians just grabbed a calculator and added up these billions, trillions, insults, pains, unkept promises and impunity. Wait! Is that to say Reuben Abati would go back to being an ordinary columnist that he was? Will President Jonathan go to Otuoke with Fani-Kayode and Okupe? Can you now see that the funeral the nation unified to organise is worth it? Then, is it mere exaggeration when I say; I come to bury Jonathan?

Author: Omoni ‘Toye Olusanmi Acknowledgement: Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo

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