Food is not the only way to a man's heart, loving him or pretending to, gets more money out of him than casual sex. You would think most ladies know that but many are so blinded by greed or confidence they lose sight of the ball. It has to do with what girls learn in their environment as they grow up that men would run after anything in skirt. Up to a point, yes, but maturity and experience kick in. So men only spend more of their money where they find happiness.

Why anyone would think men do not look for happiness like everyone else just because they want more sex, may be dealing with addicts, not normal matured men. The reason most of the relationships break is because one partner stop caring and the other discover that fact. If the one that stop caring wants more, she may lead him on until he finds out that it is a futile game.

Looking at Alafin of Oyo with his four younger wives on vacation in London was interesting. He looked gallant and refreshed with young bloods around him. Whoever thinks he can satisfy all those young women at that age must be kidding. The sex is not the important aspect of that type of relationship, his favorite is the one he thinks cares and loves him most. On the other hand, she may be the one waiting for him to kick the bucket.

In the meantime those ladies are pampered with most of what he can afford at the expense of his older wives that may not be getting so much attention. No woman gets enough anyway. It also raises the relationship of his younger children and his older ones. A great deal has been written about envies and jealousies in polygamous families but not enough about the cordial relationships within and management of natural consequences of the right of ways.

Women who accepted polygamy do not go into it blindly. They do it either for the love of the man, his money or his station in life which raises their own prestige or spending power. No man can keep a young lady these days solely on those; as exhibited by the Zulu Queen that sneaked out at nights to meet her lover that happened to be one of the King's minister. She had most things some might say, unless she was just a nymphomaniac but her love was somewhere else.

What we do not want to see are men in exulted positions sneaking out with girlfriends at various places or hotels. If the Alafin has to buy each of his wives an apartment or a house instead of living together, a lot of money would be wasted on maintenance, body guards and cars to take each wife and children out. Keeping them under one roof makes it polygamy but if kept in separate locations, it makes him a serial monogamist or a philanderer.

Some men either give money straight to hookers for sex or keep steady girlfriends for a loving relationship. There is no doubt that both men and women get infatuated with younger partners, what does not make sense is that some older women and men expect long lasting relationship from those younger partners. It takes more than money to tie down a young man or lady. Men have an advantage of starting new families around it while nature is not so generous to women.

Community does not look kindly or tolerate as much a woman that visits a kept man in another home which men do very often. It is even worse to live with a man the age of your children while those children are at home, even after the death of a husband. The society is not ready for that. But a man may be grudgingly accepted by his children as the case of Robert Murdock.

There comes a time when a young lady is no longer enchanted by all those privileges or money but desire a simple life she had before. As hard as it may be for a man to understand, he has to swallow his pride, cut his losses and let her go where she could be happier. At the same time, there are these young ladies that want to keep the privileges derived therein without the man.

We must learn from the past that men and communities have gone to war over women. Just as women had sought golden prices from men that loved them, like the head of John the Baptist. We do not expect such extreme behavior in this modern day. But the reasons and the motive for such atrocities remain in both men and women today. Boyfriends and divorced men have been known to stalk their ex-wives trying to maim them or their partners, as Oscar Pistorius.

Could be the reason women like Ray Rice's wife endure abusive husbands with all the privileges. It is not that ladies are not equally vicious, their crimes against their ex-husbands or lovers are nothing compared to the ranging anger of men. It has something to do with their pride, high sense of themselves or sometimes they might have borrowed heavily and spent voraciously to impress and keep this lady expecting life dedication in return. These men love themselves less.

A man that deserts a loving relationship with the wife, not only regrets it, still wishes he has a wife he may go back to once in a while for succor. So it is not that the girlfriends are better than the wives, they just work harder at it while it last. This is the advantage girlfriends have over house wives, even if it is a short relationship. When Donald Sterling girlfriend said he could not do without her, she meant it. He could not understand what happened to a faked relationship.

This relationship about money can be easily understood by Rockefeller and his girlfriend. He got love from her but was not sure how long it was going to last. So he bought her a condo with a mortgage that was only forgiven after his death. The point here is that he was willing to spend that much money for her as long as she remained loyal and loving. If it was just for sex, he could have spent much less like DSK, of the former celebrated 'scandal' in New York hotel.

No matter how you look at it, those beautiful young women makes Alafin of Oyo look good. He even posed as if it was a prom night with his dates. With money, many, not most ladies look for a way into your pocket, not necessarily into your heart. Poor people like us may be jealous!

Written by Farouk Martins Aresa.

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