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Your Self-Esteem And You

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You're your self-esteem, yes you're! Our cognition, emotions and actions makeup our personality, it's who we are not who we think or say we are. Our self-esteem is a byproduct of our personality. What we do overrides what we say and many times to achieve an end we say things that are alien to us.

Self-esteem is the mental picture we've of ourselves which we regularly view with the eyes of our conscious or subconscious minds. Those mental pictures might be real or fake, negative or positive, transient, persistent or permanent. Thoughts and self-esteem are like substance abuse and crime, they are inseparable!

The way you view your life is the way you view life; colourful thoughts birth colourful personalities. Send an invite to the rainbow and have her paint your life with rich, sweet colours. Our self-esteem determines how far we go in life because they influence our choices and our choices determine our destiny.

When I see a man with positive self-esteem
I 'see' health – beckoning on wealth!
Musa envies his friend because of his towering height. Ifeoma prefers her cousin's slim body and often says, “My bloated body is like bread raped by water.” But where is the document that says every woman has to be slim to be gorgeous or the eleventh commandment that says you've to be slim to be happy?

Is it the sublime beauty of your colleague that's tormenting your heart or the smartness of your boss that's flooding your system with acid rain? Little wonder you looker greener than grass yet you have no ability or capacity for photosynthesis.

You can learn the art of self-confidence, the charm of graceful calm! Be you, be real, be free! You've got only one life to live so live to the fullest! Love your body and everything about you and don't compare yourself with your neighbour or engage her in a rat race.

View yourself in your mind's mirror which is available to you 24/7 and say, “I'm the most gorgeous me the world over!” That's true because there's none like you. When you think positively, your self-esteem soars spontaneously, your mind smiles, your heart sings. Positive thoughts trigger elation and joy boosts your immune system and makes your metabolism a perfectionist.

There are stimuli in life that positively or negatively influence our self-concepts. Stimuli like the loss of a job or dear one, divorce or separation, rape, financial misfortune, disease, domestic abuse … all have the potentials to batter our ego. Variables like prosperity, health, success … have the potentials to raise our self-esteem sky-high.

But how can we protect our minds and self-esteem from being manipulated by our environment? First and foremost see the good side of every bad situation. Decide to smile when the world expects you to cry; bless when you should curse ….

If we don't appreciate who we are we disconnect, feel empty, guilty and begin to envy the other party who's got what we want. Watermelon envies pineapple because she feels the water in the latter is sweeter but the sweetest thing to Kola may not to Bola. Pineapple on the other hand detests watermelon for she feels the latter has more water and would have loved to be called 'water-apple.'

If you have a negative mental picture of yourself and wished you were someone else, it won't be long before you lose confidence, inner peace, bliss and you begin to feel worthless. Worthlessness is the beginning of recklessness. A girl who has been abused physically or molested sexually may embrace promiscuity. After all, she feels she's worthless, hopeless and therefore believes she has nothing to lose if she sells her body like a commodity in the open market.

Her parents would add bile to her pathetic case if they punish or ridicule her in public with the intent that she'd stop but I tell you she might get worse. She once had a low self-esteem; now she had none so expect the stench of a skunk. She was promiscuous in the first place because she felt worthless and helpless and unfortunately you made her feel worse, to this end she would sink deeper into the quagmire unless her self-esteem is made to breathe and live again.

People with low or no self-esteem usually have poor interpersonal relationships and may divorce if married. They feel and look sad and people hate to relate with moody, gloomy people. Because they're miserable and irritable they see adversities where there are opportunities and this limit their success in life.

People with good self-esteem on the other hand are confident, motivated, energetic and productive which makes them upwardly mobile. Who says he doesn't have a crystal ball when he's got self-esteem?

Great day to you all!

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of and do not necessarily reflect those of The Nigerian Voice. The Nigerian Voice will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."