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I am No. 1000 on Jonathan's political watch list

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When former President Olusegun Obasanjo wrote that there was a political

watch-list, many thought the grand old man of Nigerian politics was

hallucinating. But thanks to the former Minister of Federal Capital

Territory, Malam Nasir el-Rufai, we now know that there is indeed a list.

In fact, el-Rufai says he is number seven on the list. And also, because

he has seen the list, el-Rufai knows the name of those on the list. And

most of them are of the All Progressives Congress (APC) top guns.

Never mind that the diminutive man, with delusions of grandeur, thinks he

is so important that he should be number seven of President Goodluck Ebele

Jonathan's political foes.
But I suspect that such a list exists. The list is somewhere either in

the Library of the Navigator or the den of the Lion of Bourdillon and

leader of the APC.
I am miffed, and understandably so, at el-Rufai. A brief history will

suffice here. I was in Abuja when the story made the rounds that Obasanjo

gave the go-ahead to el-Rufai to roll out the bulldozers on demolition

He was said to have gone close the COJA Games (the All African Games) in

the National Stadium in Abuja, during which he was booed by spectators who

kept singing Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! (Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!)

Obasanjo was said to have maintained his cool as the embarrassment went

on, but as soon as he was through, he was said to have asked an aide (some

suspect it was the accidental public servant), who were those disgracing

him before the African public, and by extension, the international

community. The aide was said to have fingered the residents of Gwagwa,

Idu, Karmo (slums in the Federal Capital City).
That singular comment reportedly led to the blank cheque that was given

for the demolition of those shanties and such others in the city and its

suburbs. Others caught in the demolition saga, like former National

Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party, Col. Ahmadu Ali, were collateral

damages and part of a grand design to whip political enemies of Obasanjo

and his favourite son, el-Rufai, into line.
It was not that the former minister did not prosecute the restoration of

the master plan of Abuja with single-mindedness, but he added needless

wickedness with a high dose of diarrheic garrulity, as he hurled insults

at anyone who questioned him. His co-traveler and Lagos Governor, Raji

Fasola, did much more than el-Rufai, but he managed not to elicit the kind

of pathological hatred that was the lot of the loquacious nuisance.

And to think that the same man, who sent a lot of Igbo men back home with

his wickedness, went there a short while ago to attempt to monitor the

Anambra governorship elections! Was he hoping to be attacked so he could

point a finger of guilt at Abuja?
Perhaps, what has drawn my ire so much about this man who claims to be

from Zaria, but who enjoys using the tweeter so much that he makes

derisive remarks about his prophet and the Lord Jesus Christ, was the

comment on tweeter when an airplane he was on almost crashed and other

passengers, fearful about what was about to happen, resorted to calling

upon the names of Jesus Christ and Allah. He found their gesture funny and

said so on his tweeter page.
What manner of man is this that thinks that people should not call on

their God when in danger? This is the same man who always sought refuge

under the cover of Obasanjo whenever he ran into trouble with his enemies,

especially members of the National Assembly. It was better for him to run

to his then political father, but it was wrong for others to run to the

owner of the heavens and the earth.
A man who expended so much of tax-payers' money on an alleged girlfriend

he took on as a consultant, when she was eminently unqualified for such a

designation and emoluments and yet, he plays holy! I wonder if the APC

strategists know that el-Rufai is more of a liability.

Back to the political watch-list, if any, made popular by el-Rufai's

former godfather, Obasanjo. Many have said commentators and the

presidency should concentrate on the message in Obasanjo's letter rather

than the messenger. But what if the messenger is actually the message? I

mean, what if the message lacks credibility and the messenger throws his

weight of dubious credibility behind the message?
That is a matter for another day. el-Rufai claims that four other

prominent Nigerians like former military head of state, General (retd)

Muhammadu Buhari; former Governor of Lagos State, Asiwaju Ahmed Tinubu;

the Rivers State Governor, Rotimi Amaechi, and Interim Chairman of the All

Progressives Congress, Chief Bisi Akande, are also on the list.

So if these prominent Nigerians, and others like Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso

(Kano), Aliyu Wammako (Sokoto), AbdulFatah (Kwara), Sule Lamido (Jigawa),

Babangida Aliyu (Niger), Bukola Saraki, Danjuma Goje, etc. are on this

phantom list, how did el-Rufai get to number seven; or was the list not in

order of political importance?
Amaechi has claimed that he is number one on the list. He made the

allegation at a rally of the APC held at the Liberation Stadium in Port

Harcourt, Rivers State, on December 28, 2013, where he formally declared

for the party. He had said: β€œI read the President's letter; he said

Obasanjo should prove and name those on the list. I am number one on the

list. I am number one.”
So Tinubu and Buhari are not that important to occupy the top numbers? In

his tweet, el-Rufai said: β€œOn this note, I am going to bed. I am number 7

on the GEJ (Goodluck Ebele Jonathan) snipers' list; so I will only worry

when GMB (General Muhammadu Buhari), Asiwaju, Amaechi, Akande, etc., are

Now I am a little confused; are we talking about a political watch-list or

a sniper's list? Where is Obasanjo to iron out the differences? This is

because as I was preparing to doze off last night, I saw a list, and I was

number 1000 on the list, marked political watch-list (it could be sbiper's

list); I am however sure that before they get to me, if the targets are to

be hit in descending order, I would have flown to Russia for political

asylum. May be Putin will give me a room next door to Edward Snowden.